Wednesday, March 16, 2016

After talk with Papi, Yog-Rod - the new Berra? - needs to hire new writers

Last week, the Gray Lady - in need of creative spring filler - proclaimed Alex Rodriguez as the new Yogi, when it comes to saying smart dumb things, if you don't think about them.

So yesterday, when Alex met with Big Papi to end their two-year Cold War shitlistings, it was an opportunity for the new Yog-Rod to unleash some howlers. Sadly, he failed.

"I spoke to him today. He's in a good place."

"He's one of our legends going out."

"I think he's been an incredible ambassador for the game."

"I'm looking forward to him leaving the game at a height."

"He crushed us over the years."

That's Yogi? No, that's Derek Jeter. That's the art of blathering slop. If A-Rod is going to heal his reputation and become beloved - thinking Hall of Fame here - he needs to Yogi-ize all future statements. This is what he should have said.

"I spoke to him today, and he talked back, without any talk back."

"He's in a good place, and vice-versa."

"He's one of our legends going out, but he sure wasn't coming in."

"I think he's been an incredible foreign embassy guy for the game."

"I am looking forward to him leaving the game at a height, and at a weight too."

"He crushed us over the years, and we always never had a crush on him."

No comments: