Tuesday, August 30, 2016

As the Yankees situation turns dire, David Cone spits the bit

Last night, the Redsocks, Tigers Royals and Astros won, each team gaining precious ground. One Yankee defeat equaled four losses in the Last Chance to Make Deadspin MLB Wild Card race. So stressful is the Yankee plight that it's showing up in the YES booth.

I'm referring to David Cone, heretofore most famous in broadcasting for once yelling, "ICHIRO'S SWINGING CHOPSTICKS OUT THERE!" and whom - in my opinion - has shown a tendency to parrot the company line. Last night, Coney twice veered from the corporate manifesto, no longer picking cotton, and both times he was dead-on right.

The first followed one of those 30-second Meredith Marakovits field-level diatribes, where she chimes in about injuries or candid clubhouse conversations she's had with players. It's crapola, of course. Her job is crapola, equivalent to the woman who flags cars on a highway construction crew. For starters, most of her reports are bogus, though it's not her fault. The Yankees never disclose meaningful information about injuries - no reason to - and everybody knows it. Secondarily, Yankees are coached to never say anything in interviews. (See JETER, DEREK) They could simply speak gibberish - go "gabba-gabba-gabba" - and we'd get the message. So Marakovits pretends to be Edward R. Murrow, reporting from the front, and good night and good luck with that.

Last night, she described her conversation with Aaron Hicks, on why he started hitting recently, following five crappy months below .200. She said Hicks explained that he's had to learn how to be mentally ready for coming off the bench and not playing every day. She went on about how he's finally mastered the rhythm and "gabba-gabba-gabba..." - that's all I heard; she might as well have been explaining why Anthony Weiner sends text photos of his dick - it was Excuse No. 391 in the "Reasons I've Slumped" catalog, straight from the book.

But after a moment of cud-chewing silence, Coney said, "I DON'T GET IT... Since when is Aaron Hicks been an everyday starter in the majors?" True dat. Hicks has been in the majors for three years, and he's always been either platooned or riding the bench, and furthermore, this year he's played more than ever, because Brian Cashman traded for him. Hicks' excuse simply didn't hold water.

It's rare to have someone simply call, "Bullshit." Good for Coney.

In the seventh, he did it again. This time it happened while our "New Big Three" bullpen - Layne, Parker and Yates - aka Many Runs DMC - turned a 3-1 cliffhanger into a sickening blowout. One strategic pitch and - who knows, we could have won that game. Not with those guys. (Hey, don't get me wrong: I'm still down with the trades of August 1. We will be rewarded in the afterlife, which begins next April.) But as the Royals kept rounding the bases, Mt. Coney erupted - mentioning the pitcher not there - Luis Severino, now toiling in the mines of Scranton, so he can learn the change-up.

Coney invoked the memory of Phil Hughes in 2009. That year, Hughes switched to the bullpen and became a critical lug nut, and Coney went so far as to say that the Yankees best potential bullpen arm was not on the team. Good for him. Criticism of management - even thinly veiled - doesn't generally sit well with management. Last night, Coney spoke for all of us.

I'm still wondering...  how the hell did we get all the way down to Layne, Parker and Yates? I follow the team, but those guys seem to have dropped in on Pizza Hut drones. We have interesting arms in Scranton - Diedrich Enns, Jonathan Holder and - yes - Severino. Why are we using scrap heap pick-ups? The Yankees started winning after going with youth. Now that they're technically in a Wild Card chase, must we revert to a tired, boring old team? Can Meredith explain that? Where the hell is Severino? And goddammit, play the kids!

12 comments:

Alphonso said...

We have been consistent in our ( not so veiled) criticism of, " the Yankee management/ownership."

Simply stated, they do not know how to re-build.

They can play at it....like the kid you " fish" into a game of marbles, but who hasn't a clue, and possesses two off-angle thumbs, due to a problem in the birth canal.

They made some trades; they did give the " trouble-maker " Sanchez a shot ( likely to display him as trade bait). And the marvelous strike out king is in right field, so we won't get teary-eyed now that we are no longer able to watch A-Rod strike out at huge moments.

But Austin has disappeared; Gambel has never appeared, Refsnyder might as well be in South Korea coaching their little league team; Severino.....who is, at best, a relief pitcher...is being forced to develop a pitch he can't develop ( at least, have him try to learn the knuckleball, then ); and other names mentioned by El Duque keep eating doughnuts, while our worst bullpen in history slaves on.

With the Yankees, it is " re-building by accident."

We need to get rid of a lot of people wearing suits.

Tom said...

Brother, can you spare a dime? I need to buy a relief pitcher.

As I watched last night, stewing from the start because of Pineda's 3-run first, I was preparing my daily diatribe. I was going to lay into Chase Headley for impersonating a baseball player or Girardi for playing him over the hot-hitting Torreyes.

But then Joey Binders started his forced marches out to the bullpen. The lefty Layne got his guy out, but ol'Joe wanted to put his thumbprint on the masterpiece so he came out again rather then let Layne try and finish the inning. The twitchy righthander came in and grooved a meatball and John declared the game over.

As the inning lingered on, Parker, who might be related to Swarzak, was replaced by Yates, and as the Royals chased each other around the bases, John and Suzyn were left to wonder whether, perhaps, there might be some competent relievers in Scranton, Trenton, Staten Island or Pulaski. Surely, they suggested, there's got to be a couple of arms out there who can get one or two guys out. (At least, that's how I heard it.)

So, another August fantasy shot down before we got to September, this time because of the bullpen that Cashman never fully staffed. Even when we had Chapman and Miller, we didn't have a complete and reliable bullpen, and now we've blown two straight in the 7th inning. Where is Chasen Shreve when we need him?

KD said...

Girardi needs to go. he always scrapes the bottom of the bullpen in high leverage situations. last night was a perfect example. only two runs down and he brings in a lug nut to piss away the game. Only thing left to the season now is the papi mooning. Maybe Coney will join in.

Steve M. said...

This team will never truly soar until we get rid of Cashman and Girardi and their half-assed mind sets.

I'm Bill White said...

Why this blog doesn't have a Jason Giambi For Manager petition, I don't know!

Local Bargain Jerk said...


...as the Royals chased each other around the bases, John and Suzyn were left to wonder whether, perhaps, there might be some competent relievers in Scranton, Trenton, Staten Island or Pulaski. Surely, they suggested, there's got to be a couple of arms out there who can get one or two guys out.

It's clear that our only option is to sign Jonathan Papelbon.

(insert vomit graphic here)


Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...

If a given person or organization ACTS like it does not really want what it appears to desire -- you gotta rethink what you "know."

Example: Donnie Boy of Queens (can anything not evil come out of Queens, for Chrissake?). He ran for President. But he's spent most of his time in recent weeks taking careful aim and shooting off each of his 10 toes.

He's acting like he doesn't want to win. Perhaps reasonable people can come to the conclusion that the guy just does NOT want to be President of the U.S.

Ditto the Yankees. We'll see whether (or not) the trades made this summer work out in the 2017-19 time period.

But staffing the bullpen with rejects (while keeping higher-quality pitchers in the minors) has to be evidence of SOMETHING. What?

Could it be our management does not want to win? I can't answer that. But would it not be reasoinable for all of us to at least consider the question.....?

Tom said...

Good news! Shreve is on his way back to the Show. Yates sent back to Scranton. This will change exactly nothing.

Anonymous said...

BEN GAMEL WON THE TRIPLE AAA MVP TODAY!.....AND WE TREAT HIM LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN EXIST!....AND HE IS ONLY 24 YEARS OLD!!!!!

Anonymous said...

ONLY 24 years old? He'd be in his third year of major league service with most teams.

manx said...

Suzyn is off for the next few days. She'll rejoin us in Baltimore. Until then Sweeny Murti will be filling in.

manx said...
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