Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Posted by el duque at 7:57 AM
1. The Class of 2017: Gary Sanchez, Aaron Judge, Tyler Austin, Chad Green, Luis Cessa, et al. They won't all make it. But their Yankeeographies are still being written. It's refreshing to see new bands, rather than attend another oldies show.
2. To respectfully bid farewell to Mark Teixeira. Blink, and seven years go by. This has chosen to retire as a Yankee, and for all our squawking about over-shifts and batting averages, he remains a graceful and positive teammate. He's still a gold glove at first. One of these days, he'll be an immensely popular TV announcer on Fox or ESPN. It'll be good to a Yankee in the booth. (With A-Rod, we might have two. Could we be reversing the Redsock trend?)
3. To watch the last Yankee incarnations of Jacoby Ellsbury, Brett Gardner, Brian McCann or others. Next winter, anybody could go. It's hard to see Ellsbury and Gardner in the 2017 lineup, and Sanchez is clearly our future catcher. (But McCann could find a role; Cashman shouldn't trade him for nothing.) But the housecleaning that started July 31 has just begun.
4. To prepare ourselves physically and mentally for the one remaining critical mission of 2016: The mooning of Big Papi. On occasion, Yankee fans are called upon to achieve greatness. Jeffrey Maier heard the call. So did the guy who shot Khadaffi. September 29th will be such a moment. If we moon Papi, we will send the world a message: Yes, there can be peace.
5. To piss all over Boston. This might sound hateful, negative and nasty. Nothing could be further from the truth. I simply love to watch those fucking frat boys sob over a Redsock loss. It makes me warm. It gives me hope. It tells the world: Yes, there can be peace.
6. To keep the wealthy, Yankee-fan-hating Joginson Cano from ever again playing in a post-season game. He needs to know that leaving New York for a few measly extra dimes was the worst thing he'll ever do.
7. To monitor the final games of Scranton, Trenton, Tampa et al. Today, the mighty Railriders come to Syracuse. I will be out there at Your Name Here Stadium, collecting stool samples. Tomorrow, with our lab analysis, we'll know who on track to become a Yankee star.
8. John and Suzyn. This site is dedicated to one notion: That nowhere else in the universe will anyone more celebrate a Yankee victory... and more mourn a Yankee loss. Truth is, there is such another place: In the vast, globally warmed hearts of John and Suzyn. We get angry at them. We mock them. But they truly love the Yankees, and those feelings emerge in every game. In post-game interviews, Suzyn at times cannot even ask a question: She is too fraught with pain over the loss, or too excited over the victory. These are her sons. Some fans loathe them. They believe every team deserves a homer announcer - except the Yankees. Someday, they might get their wish: We'll have some "professional" and impartial team that properly celebrates a Blue Jays walk-off victory over the Yankees. Mark my words: We will fucking hate it.
9. We no longer have to root against the Yankees. We lost the month of July - one of the most painful periods in the Yankee fossil record. Between mid-June and August 1, we actually found ourselves rooting against this team, fearing it would spur management to trade prospects for another round of Alphonso Sorianos. The crisis has passed. We have a future again. It's safe to root for the team. (BTW, I have a secret belief that Hal Steinbrenner is a perfect clone of his dad, though on a faster time line. We have been going through Hal's horrible 1980s. We're now in 1990, still bad, but turning the corner. His version of the 1996-200, Jeter-Mariano dynasty could arrive around 2020.)
10. Dietrich Enns. Huh? WTF? Yes, Dietrich Enns. He's a 25-year-old lefty starter at Scranton. Look him up. He's been our most effective minor league pitcher this season, if you go by results. (He is 7-2 with an ERA of 1.33 at Scranton - after going 7-2 and 1.93 at Trenton; yes, his 2016 record overall is 14-4.) But the nameless scouts don't rank him high on prospect lists. Will he get a chance? Will somebody vault out of nowhere to lead us? Probably not. But then again, who knows? Sometimes, you just gotta stick around to find out.