Therefore, I believe next winter:
1. He will invoke his freedom to hit the open market.
2. He will make this decision while wearing the uniform of another team.
3. He will do it with the possible notion of returning to the Yankees.
Yeah, this is a stretch. But consider this: While we hope the Yankees will shock the entire world and win the AL East, let's deal with reality: They face the unbeatable Redsock '17 Hall of Fame Superteam of Destiny (TM), which is favored to win the World Series and Super Bowl. They are, after all, the Redsock '17 Hall of Fame Superteam of Destiny (TM.) And Benintendi too!
So, if we're lucky, 2017 is a Wild Card year. And if we're not lucky, come July 30, Hal, Brian and Skip might hold another incredible, mid-summer, everything-must-go sell-off. They would auction off Brett Gardner, Chase Headley, the last call for CC Sabathia and the crown jewel - one half-season of Tanaka. If he's pitching well, Tanaka could bring a haul of prospects similar to what we received for Aroldis Chapman.
Yes, we are entering Year II of the
So, it's time for the Yankees to be lavish. We have to think like Trump. Our players deserve the best of everything. I'm talking about clubhouse massages, lobster buffets, heated swoosh bidets and ultra-fast internet porn - the amenities that separate the Yankees from the Milwaukee Brewers. If we do that, we could pull another El Chapo - and lure Tanaka back in 2018. Best of all worlds, right?
You're right. It won't happen. Once traded, most players don't return. But I believe this is why the Yankees are not renegotiating Tanaka's contract, while they have an exclusive shot at him: They don't know where we'll be on July 30.
Oh, and if somehow, on that day, we find ourselves ahead of the Redsock '17 Hall of Fame Superteam of Destiny (TM)... well... holy shit, forget everything. And Benintendi too!