Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Didi Gregorius is going to the Selig Cup, and ya know wat? I'm okay with it

Yesterday, Sir Didi of Elfstedentocht announced plans to fulfill his lifelong dream and play for the - huh - Netherlands in the upcoming Bud Selig "Let's Ruin Some Poor Sap's Career in March" World Baseball Cup, making him the first Yankee Dutch treat since - c'mon, you remember him - Robert Eeenhoorn. While I believe the Yankees should do everything short of a Tiananmen Square sitdown to keep their players out of this meaningless global fiasco - (we donated Mark Teixeira to the cause, and he was never the same again) - I'm okay with Mr. Gregorius donning his silver skates and serving his Sia-haired, dyke-plugging, drug-abusing, wind-milled homeland. Here's why:

1. He won't play SS, because Xander Bogaerts is also a Dutchman. Thus, Didi could move to 2B or 3B, positions he wouldn't be allowed to touch in Tampa, because of the worldwide implications. Dear God, if he played third, it would deny Chase Headley some at bats. And 2B? What would it mean to Starlin Castro's peace of mind? Frankly, I don't think either fits into the Yankees' long-term strategy, if such a plan exists. At some point in the next few years, Didi will move to 3B or 2B, and a kid will fill his wooden shoes. 

2. If he does tweak a gonad - worst case scenario - the Yankees can bring up any of several SS prospects, such as Gleyber Torres, Jorge Mateo, Tyler Wade or Kyle Holder - for a month. Yeah, most - especially Torres and Mateo - need seasoning. But Holder recently was voted the minors' best defensive SS, and Wade hit .259 last year at Double A. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to throw someone in the pool and let him swim. This may sound stupid, but lemme say it: I'd actually rather see these kids struggling in NY than rotting in Scranton.

3. Last year, Didi was probably the most selfless, consistent and Jeteresque player on the Yankees. He did his job every day, without fanfare or drama. If he wants to play for his country, well... Nu komt de aap uit de mouw! (Let the monkey pee on your arm.) Hell, the Dutch ain't gonna win anything. All they'll do is pay their way. Didi and Dellin Betances should fill our Selig body count quota. But if anybody else tries to go... Tiananmen Fucking Square! 

12 comments:

John M said...

No, no, no...we should definitely encourage some Yankees to go. (Looking at you, Headley...Ellsbury...and sadly, Gardo.)

The ideal situation, of course, would be to get Girardi to go. If something happened and he was never the same again, that might be great. How he is now ain't working.

Can Hal catch? Not that I wish any serious injury on him, but if he takes a bat during somebody's swing follow-through, it might knock some sense into him.

A guy can dream.

DutchFan said...

How offensive en wat een gelul.
Anyway, Didi will probably be designated hitter, because we have Andrelton Simmons and Jonathan Schoop and Jurickson Profar patrolling the infield together with Bogaerts.
I know you hate the WBC, maybe rightfully so.
But you gotta love us.

el duque said...

You will have our undivided and unvarnished support.

We will not be a Yankee blog during those games. WE WILL BE A DUTCH BASEBALL BLOG.

KD said...

Will Didi get another royal title for participation, DutchFan? some still call him Sir Didi. Anything more lofty might go to his head, I fear. Didi needs to stay humble.

DutchFan said...

How can I thank you!
Joy to the world
BTW: https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/america-first-make-netherlands-second-because-they-requested-it
Make The Netherlands second!

Didi will, if en when the Dutch win the WBC (and why not) have a shot at becoming
Member of the order of Oranje-Nassau.
I have to admit, rather lowly, but that's what you get in the land of Black Pete. No sportsman gets higher than that. nd to be honest, most of the time only the captain qualifies "on behalf of the team".

KD said...

DutchFan, Didi already has the Orange-Nassau (although it is only 5th class). Found this on wikipedia...

Note also that the WBC almost got him injured in 2013!!

International career
Gregorius played for the Dutch national baseball team in the 2011 Baseball World Cup. After beating Cuba in the final, the members of the team were received the Order of Orange-Nassau, 5th class(Knight).[27] Gregorius strained the ulnar collateral ligament in the elbow of his throwing arm while preparing for the 2013 World Baseball Classic, which prevented him from competing in the tournament.[11]

Anonymous said...

AFTER DUTCHFAN'S LAST POST, WE GOTTA STOP DIDI FROM PLAYING THIS DISASTROUS, POINTLESS, TOURNAMENT! ......

Alphonso said...

Why don't the Yankees send Ellsbury?

el duque said...

Dutchfan..

You have to PROMISE us that Didi will stay safe. If necessary, you have to take his tweaked gonad. And that's not easy for anybody to do.

DutchFan said...

First of all, you are right KD, Didi was awarded that lowly decoration. That was when it won the world championship. Truth be told, it means nothing in Holland. Every year a few thousand people get this royal decoration. It is not like in England where you can get knighted and become Sir - the Elton John variety.

I am quite willing to assume full responsibility and care for all gonads Didi might tweak.

Isn't it nice for him,an all expenses paid trip to Korea with a couple of buddies.

Tom said...

what happens in Korea stays in Korea. everybody knows that.

John M said...

And that comedy video about making the Netherlands second is an amazing classic. My sister fell off her chair laughing.

God bless the Tulip Masters.