Yesterday, Sir Didi of Elfstedentocht announced plans to fulfill his lifelong dream and play for the - huh - Netherlands in the upcoming Bud Selig "Let's Ruin Some Poor Sap's Career in March" World Baseball Cup, making him the first Yankee Dutch treat since - c'mon, you remember him - Robert Eeenhoorn. While I believe the Yankees should do everything short of a Tiananmen Square sitdown to keep their players out of this meaningless global fiasco - (we donated Mark Teixeira to the cause, and he was never the same again) - I'm okay with Mr. Gregorius donning his silver skates and serving his Sia-haired, dyke-plugging, drug-abusing, wind-milled homeland. Here's why:
1. He won't play SS, because Xander Bogaerts is also a Dutchman. Thus, Didi could move to 2B or 3B, positions he wouldn't be allowed to touch in Tampa, because of the worldwide implications. Dear God, if he played third, it would deny Chase Headley some at bats. And 2B? What would it mean to Starlin Castro's peace of mind? Frankly, I don't think either fits into the Yankees' long-term strategy, if such a plan exists. At some point in the next few years, Didi will move to 3B or 2B, and a kid will fill his wooden shoes.
2. If he does tweak a gonad - worst case scenario - the Yankees can bring up any of several SS prospects, such as Gleyber Torres, Jorge Mateo, Tyler Wade or Kyle Holder - for a month. Yeah, most - especially Torres and Mateo - need seasoning. But Holder recently was voted the minors' best defensive SS, and Wade hit .259 last year at Double A. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to throw someone in the pool and let him swim. This may sound stupid, but lemme say it: I'd actually rather see these kids struggling in NY than rotting in Scranton.
3. Last year, Didi was probably the most selfless, consistent and Jeteresque player on the Yankees. He did his job every day, without fanfare or drama. If he wants to play for his country, well... Nu komt de aap uit de mouw! (Let the monkey pee on your arm.) Hell, the Dutch ain't gonna win anything. All they'll do is pay their way. Didi and Dellin Betances should fill our Selig body count quota. But if anybody else tries to go... Tiananmen Fucking Square!