I am hereby moving the Yankee Doomsday Clock another minute toward midnight. (Midnight blue, that is.)
This is the 2017 Official Yankee Spring Training Cap.
Why are they doing this? Does Putin have something on them? How is this happening? Have I been transported to some Bizzaro Superman planet, some alternative universe where Spock has a beard? What is going on here? Will the first glimpse we get of Gleyber Torres have him wearing this cap? Are we the Florida Marlins? Is this Candid Camera, and somebody's going to step from behind the curtain and we'll have a laugh together? Did somebody slip a roofie in my coffee, and when I wake up from this dream, will I have had sex? I WANT ANSWERS FROM HAL: WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?