I am hereby moving the Yankee Doomsday Clock another minute toward midnight. (Midnight blue, that is.)
This is the 2017 Official Yankee Spring Training Cap.
Why are they doing this? Does Putin have something on them? How is this happening? Have I been transported to some Bizzaro Superman planet, some alternative universe where Spock has a beard? What is going on here? Will the first glimpse we get of Gleyber Torres have him wearing this cap? Are we the Florida Marlins? Is this Candid Camera, and somebody's going to step from behind the curtain and we'll have a laugh together? Did somebody slip a roofie in my coffee, and when I wake up from this dream, will I have had sex? I WANT ANSWERS FROM HAL: WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?
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8 comments:
Ghastly. Why not have all the players wear red bulbous noses to complement the design of the hat. Whoever came up with this, and approved it, should be fired. Talk about trashing the brand. Is there no sense of pride in this organization anymore?
Dang LOL .... this THING is HIDEOUS..... Yankee Brass will get it when NO ONE buys their merchandise if its gonna look like this trash
Unfortunately, the Yanks may be on to something. Spike Lee and his acolytes will buy them in droves. That hat is the perfect complement to those old school Cazal glasses....which I never understood either....
FUGLY.
You know what it is? They have bought or pushed (I can't even tell at this point) the whole fabricated legend of the pinstripes so much that they can't stop putting it everywhere. I'm more shocked that the whole thing isn't Jeter's uniform folded into the shape of a hat. That being said, I can't tell if I'm more sick at the sight of that or the thought of another year with Girardi at the helm.
I though that Spike Lee thing was cool. Now, I couldn't pull it off, but it had some attitude. Yankees need some fucking attitude.
That hat is, and will remain, an embarrassment to all who don it. It makes the players feel like store window, plastic forms. An object of ridicule. As a direct consequence of this hideous design:
The Yankees will have a terrible spring, and not a single prospect will shine. Judge will hit under .200, with no power except a league leading ability to strike out. He will grow 4 inches taller.
Don't use the hats. They are a curse.
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