Sunday, January 22, 2017

Yankee Gammonites are coming to the rescue

This is weird. Today, bloggers across the Yankiverse sound like de facto coaches, hoping to save this team from itself. I'm not making this up. We've got Woodward and Bernsteins exposing Yankee flaws to the great disinfectant of sunlight. Check this out...


Now, the first mistake Ellsbury makes is probably the most common imperfection one could see in a hitter’s swing. The front arm is completely extended immediately which usually leads to a hitter being slow to the ball which consequently leads to them being late on a good fastball.
This is truly exciting. If Ellsbury just clicks on the site, he'll learn about his problem and start hitting like its 2005 again. Of course, if he clicks on this site, he'll get this advice: "SWING THE FUCKING BAT, YOU GODDAMM REDSOCK-BLOODED PUSSY."
Here's another from today's Yankiverse.
In '05, his release points were spread out rather widely. He had different angles and positions for his pitches. This map shrinks in 2016. The narrowing of his release points correlates with his ineffective performance.
Great. Just great. Charts and graphs. As if Girardi already hasn't already overwhelmed these guys with his binders. I say this: "EITHER THROW THE FUCKING BALL WITH AUTHORITY, OR BUY A HOUSE IN SCRANTON. I DON'T CARE. JUST NO MORE WASTING TIME."
Then there's this. 

During the 2016 campaign, Judge used different leg kicks and placed his hands in different spots. And as he enters spring training prior the 2017 season, his swing remains a work in progress.
Uh-huh? Way to go, coach. Judge fanned in half his plate appearances. Think he needs to cut down on strikeouts? You might just be on to something.
Three weeks until pitchers and catchers. Calgon Bath Oil Beads, take me away...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Calm down, Duque - - I realize this is a rough weekend, and many millions of us are on edge and surly - - but don't let the lack of nuance & subtlety of our new leader rub off on you inadvertently; and, FGS, don't adopt his temperament!! I would caution you against trying to match that famous ego - - but that's hopeless - - NO body could match that boundless ego - - not even Ted Baxter, from the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

....there's one really timely thing in this column: your namesake - - bless him, always been a favorite Yankee - - had enough arm- and leg- angles for every player you mentioned, put together....and they served him well - - fer' shure!! LB (No J)

Anonymous said...

IT'S SIMPLE WITH SEVERINO (IF HE IS GOING TO BE A STARTER).... HE NEEDS A 3RD PITCH HE CAN USE AND RELY ON!, (ESPECIALLY IN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE)...... SAME AS PINEDA.....SAVE AS IVAN NOVA.

KEEP USING THE CAPS, EL DUQUE.... THEY SUIT YOU WELL.

Alphonso said...

All baseball interviews and ideas must be stifled. There is little in the world more boring than published advice, or live interviews from players, from coaches, from fans, or from leftfield.

Only Kelly Anne's perspective an anything is more of a waste of time.

Play the game.

Get me a drink. It is Sunday morning.

John M said...

Hear, hear. (Where? Where?)

Continuing the Mel Brooksian angle, these online coaching suggestions kind of fall under the category, "What hump?"