The New York Yankees flattened the sad, semi-comatose Orioles tonight by a 12-0 score, with Masahiro Tanaka picking up his second win of the season. Gleyber Torres, not quite displaying the same home run power he usually does in Baltimore, hit three triples instead. The Birds had to be coaxed out of their dugout in the top of the eighth to finish the game, with several of the O's stomping around, throwing their gloves on the ground, and saying, "It's not fair, it's not fair!"
Yankees fans were also glad to see Giancarlo Stanton finally return from a Miami ICU ward today, after his long battle with chorizo/churro poisoning.
In a bizarre statement before the press, though, Stanton announced:
"I now realize that my body is a temple. I will no longer pollute it with any harmful substances. Period."
Told of Stanton's words in his own hospital bed, where he is still recovering from a lizard-misrecognition attack, Yankees' GM Brian Cashman was heard to mutter only, "The horror! The horror!"
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5 comments:
Yes, yes, a good win all-around, but beware! When they finally see some good pitching, they'll be exposed.
I am going to need box scores by the end of the month.
Headlines from around the league:
AP - Mookie Betts on Dodgers. Pete Rose Pissed. Claims Double Standard.
AP - Altuve signs ground breaking sponsorship deal with Summer's Eve.
AP - Supreme Court to decide if John 3.16 guy entitled to unemployment compensation.
Doug K. (It's a start)
Thanks, Doug K. We needed an around-the-league wrap up.
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