Call off your dogs, Selig. It's over. You won.

Call off your dogs, Selig. It's over. You won.

Friday, December 21, 2007

The Book of Andy

Excerpts from “Strike Zone: Targeting a Life of Integrity & Purity,” by Andy Petitte and Bob Reccord (with Mark Tabb), published in 2005.

God, I wish we were making this up.

ON TEMPTATION: “With temptation coming from every direction and so many voices calling, “Try it, you’ll like it!” what’s a guy to do? Remember that God promised He would not allow temptation to be so overpowering that you can’t handle it. He promised that He would always provde a way of escape. The question is this: Are we looking for the escape route, and when we see it, do we use it?”

TWICE. HE SUCCUMBED.

ON MAKING THE MISTAKE: “James 4 tells us that if we’ve blown it, we must repent, admit we’re worng, and have a broken heart over what we’ve done. Merely saying, “I’m sorry” doesn’t come close to what God requires. When that’s all we’re willing to say, the only thing we’re usually sorry for is getting caught or facing the consequences. We're not sorry about breaking the heart of God."

CHRIST, WE ARE SCREWED.

MORE COMING, BUT HERE'S THE UPSHOT:

Andy Petitte is a great Yankee, and if he's lying about HGH, he's going to Hell.

4 comments:

Miss Crabtree said...

SECCUMBED?

succumbed

The Mets blogs have much better spellers, young man.

el duque said...

There. I've changed it. Drat, if it wasn't for you pesky kids, I would've gotten away with it.

As for the Mets blogs, let them spell Jonathan Albaladejo.

Pope Pious Alphonso said...

OK guys, time for some more of God's truth...

I have this on good
authority ( not directly from God...only our President gets that)...but a close second; from the clubhouse guys at the stadium:

When Andy left the Yankees for Houston it was not because he wasn't sure about baseball, or that the Yankees no longer valued him. It was, in fact," because he wanted to spend more time with his family."

Under direct orders, that is, from his wife.

Andy the pious, was disobeying yet another Biblical rule; " thou shall not have a girlfriend in NY while your wife lives in Texas with the kids." I think this is from Deuteronomy, but I'm not certain.

My sources claim with absolute certainty that Andy had a babe up here, and was regularly getting pumped up before home game starts.

His wife learned of the affair and threatened Andy's share of many millions and the Pettitte Palace, in addition to on-going "problems" with hypocrisy and image control between Andy, his kids and the local pastor.

So Andy and the Yankees worked out a congenial parting of the ways, with much of the "spin control" built around his " arm problems."

Which problems, as it turned out, were easily cured by a little HGH juice.

It never really made sense that he would leave the Yankees as he did, did it?

Now you know.

In my view, Andy can do what he wants as long as he pays the price which does not include burning in hell.

It means go to Houston ( dump the babe ) or spend your days pushing a supermarket cart full of empty soda bottles, hoping for the refund.

My source, of course, is a Mets guy at heart.

Buhner's Ghost said...

Spelling is the least of it; never trust a guy whose ghostwriter needs a ghostwriter.