Syncopathia 101

In today's Daily News, Billy Madden has lunch with Stubby (above, photographed by Madden) and barely rises above the table to wash it down.

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In this Golden Age of Nepotism, this is what sportswriters must do. Excerpts:

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HEART OF GOLD: In that respect, I thought, Hank is just like his dad when it comes to having a soft heart for old Yankees.

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ON FATHER: He was pretty big, turning an initial $8.8 million investment into a billion-dollar empire while restoring the Yankees as the most prestigious franchise in sports. Hard as it was to work for Steinbrenner, following his act figures to be even harder for his two sons.

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THE HORROR: What was the most important thing you learned?" I asked him.
"The mistake of trading young pitching," he answered quickly. "It killed me seeing all those young pitchers we traded back then - (Scott) McGregor, (Jose) Rijo, (Doug) Drabek - who went on to have great careers because we just didn't have the patience. If there's one thing that's going to be different between me and my dad it's patience."

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WITTY EXCHANGE: "In the respect of being the front guy, that's gonna slow down now. This is my last interview."
"You sound like (Richard) Nixon," I said. "Are you saying we won't have Hank to kick around anymore?"
He laughed.

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He laughed, HE LAUGHED!