Thursday, December 31, 2009
And it's the best one ever.
Ozzie and Harriet had nothing on these two.
That's a good thing. Marty doesn't need to be punished.
Brad Suttle: "If Sutt solves the recipe, watch out, because the kitchen is gonna get hot fast! There's nothing subtle about Suttle. He should be Brad Obvious. "
Dellin Betances: "The A-man likes what he sees in this hoof-limbed stallion, but put on your long red galoshes, cause he's got Betty-tances eyes!"
Jesus Montero: "Don't trade him for Barabas, moneychangers! Jeez is a catcher with a Capital C for Christ. Bring an extra set of eyes so you can watch him twice, cuz when J-Peg is guarding home plate, thou shalt not steal, muthfukkah."
Juan Miranda: "Lie on the pavement and call your lawyer, scumbeagle, cuz when Juan comes up, everybody gets his Mirandas, and you have the right to swing awayyy!"
Wilkins de la Rosa: "De la Rosa is de la Rosa by any name. The only thing between Wilk and stardom is the asteroid that wipes out civilization. Look to the skies, de la!"
Andrew Brackman: "Brack is back on the attack. Graaaaack!"
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Your vote could make the difference, la diferencia!
We never did figure this out. Aug. 11.
Make no mistake: This is John Sterling broadcasting from the deepest oven in hell. July 11.
Broken of spirit, sapped of hope, he simply tells the Yankiverse -- in his own way -- that we are doomed.
If you want to understand John Sterling, here it is.
The Master's reading list. July 19.
It was a pop fly to end the game. Luis Castillo drifted under it.
In that moment, the Yankees and Mets seasons intertwined in a way that proves God subscribes to YES. We caught the break. They caught nothing.
It sent John back to the sixties in search of the proper expression. (July 11)
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I've been "away" for a while. I swear she looked... well, never mind.
I borrowed a Blackberry from one of the trustees here and thought I'd do a quick post, sports fans.
So what's going on? An election of some kind? How nice.
The fix is in, of course, but any votes that go to me should instead be awarded to SuperFrak or Alpo or even that new fellow, Deadhead.
I appreciate your love and recognition but until I am again at liberty — around pitchers and catchers day — I'd like to release my delegates and allow them to vote for anyone of their choice, except for that putrid reprobate, El Dumbo, the infamous election stealer and protegee of Cheney, Rove and Co.
I urge those of you who have already voted for this dripping butt-plug to change your vote post haste.
Even Mons Meg would be preferable.
Like Christmas without Santa. Like July 4th without fireworks. Like President's Day without Red Dots.
After a 10-2 victory, the distracted and disinterested John Sterling forgot his warble.
This may be too intense for small children. July 8.
Because it is.
Dear my loyal fans, the 6 people that voted for me:
You should all be committed to some type of institution. All 6 of you. I'm not one to judge; maybe you struggle with keeping off the sauce, put a few too many knives in electrical sockets as a kid, or you're just that guy who sits in the corner twitching and twitching and washing his hands. Whatever it is, though, you guys and gals clearly need help.
The Ghost of Scott Brosius
I've only got SIX votes!!!!
And remember, I'm the one who gave the take-no-prisoners-with-us-or-against-us-and-fuck-everybody-else-and-the-horse-they-rode-their-John-Henry-pansy-ass-in-on "State of the Yankees" address that SPURRED US ON TO VICTORY!
Six frickin' votes.
A booth is a dangerous place. July 6.
John does some simple math and concludes that the Yankees need a new game plan.
I don't know why this seems funny. But it is classic Sterling humor. June 30.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Why is humankind building a new stadium for this wretched pockmark on the earth known as the New York Futebol Giants?
The Giants? If they need a stadium, how about the mudhole in Moosic, the one that drains twice a year. Let them play there next year. Or Trenton. They belong in Double A.
Every Yankee fan who roots for the Giants understands karma. We won big in 2009. We suffered big in 2009. Frankly, I'll take the Championship ring. But watching the Giants blow Sunday's game -- that was a humilation for the ages.
A new stadium? What for?
They should never have built it anyway. If the Giants had any class, any sense of traditon, any belief in legacy, they would have left the Meadowlands and moved back to the old Yankee Stadium.
Yes. You heard me. The real Yankee Stadium. They could have saved it.
Let them play at Grossingers in the Catskills. Let them call Solvay their home. Let them go. What a disgrace. Sam Huff, where are you?
This is why John and Suzyn are the greatest working husband and wife team in America. June 30.
With the bed-wetting performance of the Giants on Sunday, we again have proof positive that when the Yankees succeed the Giants flop. A World Series win requires total failure and humiliation for the football Giants.
Tom Coughlin has done this year what only Ray Hanley was able to accomplish in the Giants history. And he saved the final humiliation for the last stand at the old stadium in order to give fans the taste of yang,or turd in chinese.
With Brian's off-season moves thus far, it could be a better year for the Giants next year than for .the Yankees
And the Giants only need new coaches, new players and a new stadium.
When does March madness begin?
By far, the most listened-to Sterling clip of 2009.
I was driving home from softball practice with my daughter, listening to the game, when John said it. Neither of us could believe it, and we laughed all the rest of the way. By the time we got home, somebody had already flagged it in an email.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
This had to hurt. The most heroic moment of the season. June 24.
All season long, at least 50 times a game, John wove this commercial so seamlessly into the game that you couldn't tell it was coming... for at least an inning in advance. June 28.
December 20, 2009 Sunday
In response to a recent letter, the whole "buying a World Series" argument has always made me chuckle. When the Yankees didn't win from 2001-2008, everybody laughed and said that it takes more than a high payroll to win. Now that they won, all of the sudden they "bought" the Series. You can't have it both ways.
And this whole notion that the Yankees and other high profile teams raid other franchises is just as ridiculous. It's not the Yankees that are bad for baseball, it's the system in which baseball operates. You want to know how much money these small market teams make? According to Forbes in 2008, Marlins -- $43 million profit before taxes, Nationals -- $42.7 million, Rays -- $30 million, Orioles, Twins and Athletics -- $27 million. All in all, 14 teams profited over $20 million. Perhaps there should be a salary bottom instead of a cap.
Because of their commitment to winning, the Yankees operate close to the red year in and year out so that they can field the best team possible. Unfortunately for the fans of these small market teams, their owners are more interested in making an extra million instead of going after quality free agents or re-signing their own good players. So instead of griping about the Yankees spending their money, why don't you go tell your team to spend theirs?
Talk about being distracted. There must have been an Ethel Merman movie on TV, because this night in May, John really wanted to get back to the hotel in a hurry. It didn't even register 4 seconds. It was a blowout, of course, but three people flagged it, saying something was wrong with John.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
The Indianapolis Star (Indiana)
December 20, 2009 Sunday
Comparing the 2009 Colts with the 1927 New York Yankees, who are considered the best of all time.
The '27 Yankees had two superstars, Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, and a career year from center fielder Earl Combs. The rest were everyday players who stepped up when it counted and found a way to win.
The '09 Colts have Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark, Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis. The rest are everyday players who step up and find a way to win.
The '27 Yankees won 110 games and swept the World Series. Will the '09 Colts go undefeated and win the Super Bowl? In years to come, two teams will be referred to as the greatest of all: the '27 Yankees and the '09 Colts.
June 19: Somebody flagged this gem in an email. There is nothing more entertaining in radio than John Sterling trying to put some form of hopeful spin on a horrible Yankee loss. The YES crowd never does this. They're too cool and detatched to openly grieve at Yankee defeat in the way that John does. When John tells us about a miserable loss, they play in the background that old song, "Smile... even though your heart is breaking."
December 20, 2009 Sunday
With all of the hoopla over the New York Yankees winning the 2009 World Series on account of their payroll, as a Yankee fan, I can honestly attest to two things -- It was much more fun when the Yankees won the 1996 World Series as an underdog against the renowned Braves and all professional sports are completely out of control with salaries.
It will be a very interesting offseason in baseball with the low revenue Minnesota Twins attempting to keep their hometown hero, Joe Mauer, around for the long haul. Mauer has stated he'd love to stay in Minnesota, but why hasn't he signed a long term extension at the reported $12.5 million per year? The answer is simple -- Mauer will be a free agent following the 2010 season, and both the Yankees and Red Sox will need a catcher.
The union and the agents will pressure Mauer, the reigning MVP, not to sign with Minnesota and hold out for possibly more money than even Alex Rodriguez could imagine. But again, if Mauer wants to be in Minnesota so passionately, why hasn't he signed?
The system is flawed and the only people to blame are the stupid fans who keep insisting on more. In our abysmal economy somehow 18,000 people make it down to see the Sabres play; the NHL minimum salary is $500,000. Even with horrible teams, the Bills seem to manage more than 50,000 fans to see the NFL minimum player make $310,000. Our stupidity drives up the highest priced players which in turn drives up the minimum salary which in turn drives up ticket prices, apparel prices, etc.
You want to complain about the Yankees, fine, but they are no different than any other major sports team. I adore sports, but I live for the day this market finally crashes.
June 21: This was John trying to rationalize the Joba Chamberlain situation: he was being yanked in the fourth inning due to a rising pitch count... as well as being slapped around. But John still found hope.
April 19. Jose Veras, Edwar Ramirez and Damaso Marte. Yankee Stadium seemed the size of a matchbox. I watched for a while and decided that if this was going to be our season, I would ridicule the Yankees with the intensity of a billion Redsock fans. And John wouldn't have blamed me.
With public opinion in the Yankiverse running more than 3:1 in favor of his recent trades for Curtis Granderson and Javier Vazquez, IT IS HIGH has restored the coveted Yankee Executive of the Decade Award to Yankee GM Brian Cashman.
The commando mission which removed the award from Mr. Cashman's trophy room reports that the plaque has been returned, along with the lifelike figures of infamous IIH blogger Alphonso and the Yankee GM.
IT IS HIGH Yankee Executive of the Decade
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sorry to miss out on all the Xmas greetings, but I am not here.
From us to you... May you have the merriest of merry Christmases and the happiest of happy holidays and the newest of new years
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
WTF? We're going to save some $$ by trading Gaudin or Mitre? Wow.
Maybe we'll bring the Duncan boys back to Scranton!
(By the way, I sincerely apologize for the negativity. But I just hate the idea of ever having to deal with Javier Vazquez in a Yankee uniform again. Do you realize how painful it is to even think about Javier Vazquez in a Yankee uniform?)
In El Duque's 10 Reasons Why We Will Suck post, Anonymous #8 posted a rather well thought out list of reasons as to why this trade is beneficial to the Yankees. His reasoning, with IIH's take on it below in italics:
1. Vazquez was an all-star in 2004 and pitched the second half of the season hurt. He's pretty much an innings eating strikeout machine which makes him an ideal #3 starter. If you want to blame somebody for 2004, blame shoddy relief pitching, awful defense, anemic offense and poor management.
2004 is much more than Vazquez's fault. Yes, you can blame shoddy relief pitching, awful defense, anemic offense, and poor management. BUT INJURY IS NO EXCUSE FOR FAILURE. Don't believe me? See Schilling, Curt. He pitched hurt. He's a huge douchebag, but his team won in 2004. Schilling's a winner. Vazquez isn't. We want winners.
2. A 30 HR centerfielder coming to a hitters park and surrounded by one of the premiere lineups in the game will be fine. His only deficiency is his numbers against left handed pitching. Frankly, he's better than Melky Cabrera in every aspect of the game.
Not gonna lie, I agree with this. But the Yankees are now missing a third outfielder. Gardner's not an everyday player, and Mark DeRosa (a guy the rumor mill is saying Cash is swooning over) is a useless journeyman. Granderson might be an upgrade over Melky, but Nick Johnson and Mark DeRosa are MUCH WORSE than Hideki Matsui and Johnny Damon.
3. Nick Johnson's an OBP machine. And so was Abreu. Having men on base is a good thing. If you're going to have a criticism against Johnson, it should be his injury history.
We're not the Oakland A's. We don't care about OBP. Why? Cause we could afford players who can HIT THE BALL. Yeah, suprise, what a novel concept. We find a huge flaw in replacing our World Series MVP with a guy who looks at pitches. Because Matsui didn't win a World Series MVP by walking up to the plate and hoping Pedro throws his 82mph fastball out of the strike zone. If Abreu was so good, he might have a World Series ring. And Randy Johnson was a failure in every sense of the word during his tenure in pinstripes
4. Robbie Cano's problem is plate discipline, not the number of buddies he has to party with at 2am the night before a game.
Robbie Cano's also had problems with a lack of hustle and effort in 2008. Remember the Robbie Cano who didn't care enough to bend over for a ground ball?
5. Phil Coke is a dime-a-dozen reliever. A lefty specialist with a 4.50 ERA isn't anything to write home about.
Coke sucks, but Boone Logan's 5.78 ERA is worse. And quite frankly we're happy that Cashman went out and found a worse version of Phil Coke. Gives us more to rant about.
6. Actually, right now the starting LF is Brett Gardner. The season also doesn't start until April, last time I checked.
Brett Gardner hit three home runs last year, one of which was an inside the park home run. He has NO power and therefore shouldn't be taking up a corner outfield spot, where we need production in the lineup. And our so-called "budget" doesn't allow us to get a better left fielder before April.
7. I think the lesson is "be a mediocre 4th outfielder and you're expendable"
We'd rather send the message: "Go 2 innings, let up 6 runs, walk 5, let up 2 home runs in a Game 7 with a World Series berth and the Curse of the Bambino on the line and you're expendable."
8. Colin Curtis had a terrific season in the AFL and is expected to compete for an OF spot in spring training.
Upon further review, that he did. But this doesn't mean we can bank on him hitting Major League pitching just yet.
9. Why wouldn't he have a season like 2009? Those numbers are very close to his career averages.
Javy Vazquez was pitching against powerhouse lineups like the Nationals and the Mets. Calista Flockhart could beat those teams.
10. Jackson is overrated (look at his AAA numbers. 123Ks doesn't exactly profile you to be Bernie Williams II ). Ian Kennedy sucks. He's maybe a #4 starter for a .500 NL team. Get over it. Dunn isn't even major league material. Vizcaino is a teenage prospect which is hardly bankable for the future. I bet you thought Eric Duncan and Drew Henson were can't miss prospects too, huh?
I think Jackson has the potential to become a really good player, but I'm at ease with the Granderson deal now that Cashmoney pulled this one off. Kennedy does suck. Dunn as well. Vizcaino is a teenage prospect, but the Yankees need to hold on to those foreign prospects. We can't draft that type of talent when we have the 30th pick in the draft every year, and the foreign market allows us to do what we do best: throw money at talented (albeit 16 year old) baseball players until they can't say no. See Sabathia, CC.
Why do I get the sense this blog is written by somebody who booed A-Rod up until 2009 and can't name the shortstop before Derek Jeter?
We did boo A-Rod because well he wasn't doing his job. And the shortstop before Jeter was Tony Fernandez. Before Fernandez, it was a platoon of Gallego and Randy Velarde. And might I add, Fernandez was the second to last Yankee to hit for the cycle. I think we all know the last one...
-- Alphonso, circa 1990s --
In the course of human events, it becomes apparent that we as individuals may disagree about issues relating to life, liberty and LOOGY.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
CASHMAN CLOWN CIRCUIS.
REUNION OF THE
YANKEE TEAM OF 2004!
Yankee trade proves nobody in the future will ever invent time travel, because someone would have come back and stopped Cashman
And to think, three weeks ago, we actually had a farm system.
They can't do this to Melky.
They can't do this to us.
TAKE BACK THE YANKEES! NOW!
When I think of Javier Vazquez in Pinstripes, I want to puke.
(John Lackey, $15 million, and nobody would leave.)
I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade.
Ask me how I feel about this trade?
I hate it.
New York Post reporter Joel Sherman and Sports Illustrated's Jon Heyman are reporting that the Yankees are about to trade Melky Cabrera for Atlanta Brave starter Javier Vazquez.
The Yankees will also get Boone Logan. Mike Dunn and a prospect will go to the Braves.
The 32-year old Vazquez pitched for the Yankees in 2004 (14-10, 4.91 ERA). He was 15-10 with a 2.87 ERA with the Braves in 2009.
Let's face it: If the owners aren't richer than God, they are at least richer than Buddha. They own baseball teams, fer kricesake. They hold entire metropolitan areas for hostage. They own banks and airlines and multinationals. Kansas City's owner is the former head of Walmart. You think he ever pays a decent wage? Go to the Walmart nearest you and ask the cashier if she has health insurance?
And the cheapest, chistlingest, Scroogiest owners -- they win cash prizes. The Yankees will pay them $25.6 million -- the luxury tax -- the most honest phrase in sports. We'll pay it to the billionaires who don't play to win, because such activity runs against the values of the Men's Club of MLB.
The MLB owners wish they could be the NFL, the most communistic organization in America.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
December 13, 2009 Sunday
It is somewhat laughable how Yankees fans think Derek Jeter was robbed of this year's MVP. All Joe Mauer did was outhit Jeter, .365 to .334, outhomer him, 28 to 18, drive in 96 runs to Jeter's 66, have a .444 on-base percentage to Jeter's .406 and an on-base-plus slugging percentage of 1.031 to Jeter's .871 -- not even close. Yes, Jeter had a terrific season. Yes, he's a first-ballot Hall of Famer. And yes, he has "looks, charisma and charm," whatever those things have to do with being a great baseball player.
If the writers are so "ignorant and jealous" when it comes to the Yankees, how is it that they voted Jeter as the American League Rookie of the Year, and the MVP of an All-Star Game or the MVP of a World Series? He might have been MVP of the Series this year if he had driven in more than one run and not struck out and hit into a double play in crucial spots in the ninth innings of games Four and Five.
If Mauer and Jeter had changed teams this year, Mauer would have won the World Series and Jeter wouldn't. But Minnesota would not have even made the playoffs without the great year Mauer had. The writers had it right when they voted the Yankees' Mark Teixeira second behind Mauer and Jeter third. Jeter wasn't even the most valuable player on his own team.
In typical fashion a Yankee fan states they "took the MVP award away" from Jeter because of jealousy. I might ask, does this writer's TV set turn to other stations besides YES Network or MSG? ESPN has a great show on a couple nights a week where teams occasionally play on their own show.
The other is, was Jeter even the MVP of his own team this year? Teixeira had an outstanding year. The other ignorant fact stated is "How valuable can they be, if they can't even get by the Yanks?" This is a season award, not postseason, and has no bearing on the playoffs. I will only list the stat categories in which Mauer outshined Jeter: Average .365 to .334, HRs 28 to 18, RBIs 96 to 66, BBs 76 to 72, OBP .444 to .406, OPS 1.031 to .871, SOs 63 to 96, Rs 107 to 94, 2Bs 30 to 27, and Errors 3 to 8. And Mauer missed the first 22 games of the season due to injury.
Now the last month of the season, Justin Morneau, Minnesota's other great, missed due to a bad back. Take away Teixeira or A-Roid and see if Jeter can lead them to a 32-11 record down the stretch to win their division. Plus Mauer played in every game but three at the most demanding position of catcher without his stats diminishing.
There were two robberies done here. First that Mauer wasn't unanimous and second is by the Yankees. Always buying the best players, all the time and inflating a padded Series title number. I say turn the station and see the other great players and teams. Plus, always remember 2004 and that colossal choke job.
To all you Yankees haters out there, the question is: If you had the financial resources, wouldn't you want to build a winner? The Yankees donate to revenue sharing, so why do the Kansas City Royals and Pittsburgh Pirates struggle for a winner? It looks as though their share of the revenue pie is eaten up by an owner who puts it in his pocket. So remember two things: 1. The Yankees will never cheapen out. 2. In sports, it's all about winning.
Last week an individual wrote a letter complaining how Derek Jeter had the MVP award taken from him by Joe Mauer. The MVP is awarded to the player who is most valuable to the success of his team. Without Mauer the Twins don't make the playoffs.
If it were based strictly on stats, well, one could argue that Mauer did have the better season. Mauer isn't surrounded by big-name players in the Twins lineup like Jeter is with the Yankees. Jeter is simply not as valuable to the Yankees as Mauer is to the Twins.
And since when do "looks, charisma, charm and class" make up the "greatest baseball total package"? And, finally, you are just a fan. You do not know Jeter's makeup and personality.
Michael A. Measer
December 13, 2009 Sunday
For those who have been anti-New York Yankees the last few weeks, get a life.
Boston and the Mets have been spending a lot of money over the last few years, but I have never heard anybody hate them. Just the Yankees.
If you remember, Boston was going after A-Rod also.
Also, nobody brings up this fact: The teams that pay the luxury tax. This money goes to other teams like Kansas City or Washington so they can invest in their team. But, what the owner does with this money is a different story. Boston and New York are good for baseball. I believe in the 2007 season, Boston and New York made up a third of Baltimore's home ticket sales. Fans want to see these teams.
By the way, whatever happened to the free enterprise system? You have to spend money to make money.
Over the past six years the average Yankees' payroll was over $70 million a year more than the Mets or Red Sox, even though those teams draw from more lucrative areas, charge premium ticket prices and cable fees. Owner George Steinbrenner reinvests back into the on-field product even though he is penalized for it. Revenue sharing and the luxury tax have required the Yankees to spend millions of dollars to promote youth leagues and player development overseas, thus benefiting ALL major league teams.
According to Peter Handrinos, in his book, "The Truth about Ruth and More," the Yankees were forced to contribute no less than 39 percent of locally generated money into a pool for teams like Milwaukee and Pittsburgh. He adds, "in a typical year, the Yankees must hand over more than $75 million to smaller-market frenchises . . . with no real strings attached." The Yankees are unequaled in merchandising but they are allowed to keep only 3 percent of the profits."
Since 1980, the Yanks have fueled an unprecedented increase in interest in the MLB. Home attendance has grown from 1 to 4 million a year and when the Yankees come to town, the average increase in attendance is 13,000 fans per game, further enriching the other teams and their billionaire owners. Yes, the Yankees win and baseball benefits.
The Yankees have an unfair fiscal advantage. Is it fair that the Yankees have $201 million payroll while the second-highest payroll is the Mets' $149 million? Take $50 million off the Yankees roster and they do not win the World Series. Is it fair that 21 teams have less than half the Yankess' payroll?
They can sign any free agent and any homegrown player they want. Most teams would not have been able to keep Jeter, Rivera, Posada or Pettitte. Since 1997, the only above average players they developed are All-Star second baseman Cano and Soriano. It's easier signing other teams' all-stars than drafting and developing players. Of course the Yankess did make it hard with the likes of Knoblauch, Pavano, Brown, Johnson, Giambi, Contreras, Wright and Igawa. After signing three All-Stars in their prime last season, it would have been hard for them not to win the World Series.
Yes, the 1993 Blue Jays had the highest payroll. There were also seven teams with 75 percent or more of their payroll to compete with them. The Mets, with the second highest payroll, have less than 75 percent of the Yankees' payroll. Yes, the Yankess had one more homegrown player than the Phillies. But what about the quality of free agents and trades? The Yankees acquired All-Stars A-Rod, Teixeira, Burnett, Sabathia, Damon and Matsui. The Phillies acquired Pedro (past his prime), Lee, Ibanez and Werth (Phillies version of Scott Brosius). Advantage Yankees.
MLB needs revenue sharing and a minimum and maximum salary levels to ensure some sort of fairness and balance.
Michael J. Nemeth