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NEW YORK _ Embattled Yankee captain Derek Jeter tonight resisted calls nationwide that he resign his pinstripes in the wake of proof that he perjured himself on a nationally televised broadcast.
Jeter was caught Wednesday night falsely claiming injury on a pitch that did not touch his body, a deceitful and dastardly act that has embarrassed the Yankee organization.
Jeter was said to be in seclusion, though he released this statement through the Yankees:
"Last night, I was an evil man. But I have learned my lesson and will never do it again. I promise."
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