Yanks praying for Boston loss, as Girardi gets to experience future with Cubs

What seemed impossible Monday -- that the Yankees could barf the last six and pull off a Gene Mauch-managing-the-2008-Mets-level collapse -- remains within the acid dreams of pessimists everywhere, as Joe Girardi's ship last night resumed its charted course to Oblivion.

Clearly, the team is not attempting a six-game losing streak. We're just losing them one at a time. Last night, we turned to "The Healthy Pavano," AJ Burnett. Last year, after a 7-run, 3-inning outing, AJ would serve as his own harshest critic. Last night, he just recited his post-season qualifications like a politician who won't discuss his pedophila arrest.

I have lost hope. Do you hear me, Yankiverse? I HAVE LOST ALL HOPE.

Forget beating Toronto. The Blue Jays kicked our Lance Berkmanlike butts all year, even before we obtained the former Astro for Mark Melancon, now pitching well in Houston.

Forget winning a game in Boston. If those games matter, we'll lose all three.

We have one chance: Ozzie Guillen. Can he beat Boston once? I'm bettting yes, allowing the Slackers of September to fall over the finish line and lie face-down, wheezing for the playoffs

From there, well, imagine the New York Giants' offense in the fourth quarter of a tight game:

Three and out.

R.I.P. Gene Mauch. And GO OZZIE!