FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Friday, June 5, 2015

Read it and tweet: The Yankees are in last place on Twitter

I didn't see this coming. Warning: If there are small children in your computertorium, send them from the room. Don't let them see this. It's too painful for those who live their "pride of the Yankees" fantasies in 140 characters or less. 

The mighty Yankees are MLB's worst team in retweeting Twitter tweets. They trowel the least of tweeted tweets, when twiddling the twaddled trolls and tweakers of today's Twitterverse.

The easy-to-understand Fangraphs chart on the right tells everything you need to know about the Yankees' toothless retweeters, who have tanked the team's Twitter trust. Good grief, the franchise could lose out with the next generation unless it starts - as the kids today say - "gettin' jiggy with it." 

Says the Washington Post's Marissa Payne: (emphasis mine)

Despite having more than 1.3 million followers on Twitter — that’s more than any other MLB team, by the way — the Yankees interacted with unverified accounts just three times in the month of May.  

Yes, that's not a misprint. In May, the Yankees retweeted three (3) sickly, measly, godforsaken tweets. Worse, that number is artificially inflated, due to one inspiring tweet-machine's heroic work.

Not only did the team fail to favorite or reply to a single fan on Twitter in May, but the three tweets from unverified accounts that the team retweeted originated from Luvo Inc., a food company and blog that team nutritionist Cynthia Sass contributes to, and an account that solely tweets out MLB GIFs.

Read it and tweep, everybody. If not for a lady who is paid to keep Fruity Pebbles out of the breakfast buffet, the Evil Empty-Pyre would have been shut out on Twitter last month - ZERO - a big, fat, sour, untweaked and untwiddled tangle of twerps. All those cute baby pictures tweeted by Yankee yuppies? Screw 'em. Brian Cashman's suited interns never even bothered to throw them a cute, smiley face emoji bone. The Yanks may be first in the AL East, and first in retiring uniform numbers, but to hell with the search for a right-handed bullpen lug nut: Jeez Krice, Mr. Steinbrenner: Go out and sign somebody who thinks in 140-characters or less.

1 comment:

John M said...

If I knew what Twitter was, I'd say something pithy.

I follow the Yankees on the teletype.