Friday, June 19, 2015

Don;'t mess with Wes: Obscure, 25-year-old Yankee farmhand Wes Wilson has the greatest game ever

I have seen the future of rock and roll, and its name is Bruce Spri, Wes Wilson.

I knew John Ken, Wes Wilson. I worked with Wes Wilson. My friend, you are no Wes Wilson...

Soon, NYC, the YES Network, Michael "Everything is O" Kay, and a few isolated hipster outposts across the country will celebrate the 3,000th hit of Alex Rodriguez. As a blog that backed A-Rod for most of the last two years, we believe that nothing should distract the free world from commemorating A-Rod's Christlike resurrection.

But if you're looking for a hero, America, forget the Madonna-scented, Cameron Diaz popcorn-stuffing, boutique luxury toilet stalls of Gotham. Look no further than the Tampa Devil Yankees, a Single A outpost in the Mohave desert heat of Florida in June. Look no further than Wes Wilson, today's one-game Yankeeography. 

Last night, Wilson - a 25-year-old organizational lug nut from Lexington, Kentucky, by way of Indiana University - propelled Tampa to a 17-inning, 5-4 win over hated Bradenton. This, my friends, is how a legend is born. Last night, Wes...

1. Caught 15 innings behind the plate. That's no misprint. Fifteen innings.

2. Pitched the final two innings. That's no misprint. He pitched. He gave up no runs, no hits, nothing. After 15 innings behind the plate, he threw a pair.

3. Hit the game winning home run - his first of the year. (He went 2-6 with a walk, raising his average to .245.)

4. Recorded the win. His first.

5. On the way home from the game, ran into a fully engulfed trailer fire and saved three adorable puppies.

Actually, no, he didn't save any puppies. He just saved baseball. Because Wes Wilson will probably never play in the majors - (Not counting him out, but age 25 at Single A... that's a long climb) - but while YES and the Daily News bend to kiss A-Rod's lipstick-smeared buttocks, and pretend they never marched on his castle with lit torches, we at IT IS HIGH can take a step back from the spit-showers of adulation and appreciate what makes the game of baseball so much fun... when it's not pure, unadulterated torture.

Wes Wilson... take a bow. 

In this isolated hipster outpost of the Yankiverse, we proudly proclaim...


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

this is perhaps the single greatest baseball accomplishment since the invention of the retractable roof.