Monday, June 8, 2015

This Is The Day We Sign Cito's Little Brother

 Today, I think, is the major league draft.  The Yankees, because we let David Robertson go, has the 16th pick.

Let us pray.

Brian Cashman and his incompetents ( his garage bands' name when he was a kid ) get a chance to re-stock, or add some groceries, to the Yankee farm system.  Some of our recent number one picks have included;  Andy Brackman, Cito Culver, Dante Bachette, and a slew of guys hitting below the Mendoza line in Trenton, Charleston and Tampa.

None are in Scranton, because that is for re-treads and pitchers only.  Most of our number one picks in the last decade don't even have treads.  So they never become re-tread (able).

So this is Derby Day for Brian.  His guys have been scouting the world on their private jets, and haunting the local bars for interested waitresses.  The problem is, they never look at the young ballplayers.

This is Fuck Up day.  Embarrass the Yankees 101 and give the Red Sox fans a good laugh.

This is the day Cashman sets the Yankees back another decade, and leaves Yankee fans wallowing in anger and disbelief.  We look at each other and say, " what the F... did he just do?  We drafted who? "

Cito Culver recently finished an 0-44 run at AA, pushing his BA below .100.  Then, he hit a single, and now he is back on another run to extinction.  But he handles the glove well, according to the press release.

So his little brother, who finished off his high school career batting in the low .200's is now eligible for the MLB draft.

Let's get him before he shows any sign of potential.  That way, he fits right into the family.  Brothers in uselessness.

Have a drink, Brian, and throw a fucking dart!


Ralph Letizia said...

Please fact check yourself. We have the 16th pick because of the yankees record last year they have the 30th pick for losing Robertson.

Ralph Letizia said...

And while the yanks track record in the late 00's of developing first round picks is poor you conveniently ignore the three first rounders from two years ago (Judge, Jagielo, and Clarkin). The first two are hitting very well in AA and Clarkin who threw well last year is MIA with injury. But those first two have been very successful.

el duque said...

Hey, Cito Culver hit a home run the other night.

And Ralph is right, we earned the 16th pick through sheer incompetence. The 30th pick came from letting Robertson go.

I have one prediction for tonight. The Yankees will say it's a great selection, and all the blogs that suck up to the Yankees will agree... except for Alphonso, who will say it is a disaster. But nobody will know. It takes five years to get a fix on a guy. (Maybe even Cito will learn to hit; you never know.)

But if I'm a betting guy, I'd bet Alphonso is right. Most of the picks aren't going to pan out. We're just stroking assholes.

ceeja said...

They may as well "waste" a pick in the second/third/fourth round on Mariano Rivera III, who is suddenly hitting mid 90s on the radar gun. If it's all a crap shoot, why not go with the sentimental pick?