FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Posted by el duque at 7:09 AM
Here's the scene. A-Rod steps in. The crowd, with a million reasons to boo, stands to cheer. The hate-filled owner, up in his sensory-deprivation luxury box, wakes up to shout encouragement. In the stands, Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore - villains from a Redsock movie - join in. Now comes the pitch. Ka-boom! "It's an A-Bomb from A-Rod," the famous Yankee announcer, Vin Scully, cries. "Alexander the Great conquers again!" Cue the credits! Play the Oscar-nominated Celine Dion song: "Love Theme from A-Rod: I Know I'll Hit Again."
Did the closing scene of that future A-Rod movie happen last night?
Does it end with the crowd standing, Hal having a transgender operation, and the evil sportswriter, "Madden" - (played by Sir Ian Lugosi; remember, the year is 2049) - being fired and forced to live out his career writing Tweets for Donald Trump? We'll watch A-Rod - played by Duane Johnson-Gaga - cry, as he's interviewed by Suzyn (Rosie O'Donnell-Cyrus Jr.) Three thousand hits! They said he couldn't do it! He proved everyone wrong!
Or is there yet another act?
Did the A-Rod show end last night, or will there be an autumn finale, the kind that eluded Mariano and the Captain?
Today, foks are comparing Derek Jeter's 3,000th with last night, and it's like the difference between American Pharoah and Francis the Talking Mule. (For example, consider the difference between the fans who caught the balls.) But Jeter surely would have traded that commemorative HR ball for a final October stage. And no matter how he's hitting now, A-Rod's time is running out. Next month, he turns 40. This is his last, best shot to play a meaningful role on a meaningful team.
This is the stuff of Hollywood. That we know. Question: Is it the stuff of Yankee legend?