Searching for meaning in a meaningless universe

Good news: Yankees score four! No more one and done!

Bad news: They give up 13. Thirteen. To the Phillies. Only one pitcher in camp - the eternal Trentonian, Mike Montgomery - has thrown a 1-2-3 inning.

Thank God it's early. But it is... really early. It's pre-dinosaurs, pre-cosmic seeding and planetory congealing - even pre-Big Bang. Time hasn't yet begun. Nothing matters, and as proof of that statement: A-Rod homered.

First AB of 2016. Yep, a giant, meaningless nothingburger.

But let's look at the players that - even in pre-matter state - matter:

Slade Heathcott goes 1-2 with a single. He also fanned and walked. (Minor interesting note: He played CF and led off.) Little Hands Ellsbury is nursing something.

Aaron Judge batted twice, struck out twice. Hm-mm. That's the problem with batting practice superstars - Tony Pena isn't always on the mound.

Gary Sanchez 0-2 with two walks. I'll take it.

Rob Refsnyder, playing 2B, goes 0-3 with a strikeout and leaves 6 runners on base. Hm-mm. In the field, he led a DP.

Basepath super demon Jorge Mateo tried his first steal against a major league battery. He was thrown out.

Pitchingwise, there's only way to say this: HORROR SHOW.

Pitching star of the game: Brandon Pinder.

Scariest outing: Jacob Lindgren couldn't throw strikes.

It's really really really early. But the Yankees have now spent two years congratulating themselves for drafting Lindgren - what a smart pick, aren't we crafty, didn't we show everybody, look - he's the first to reach the majors, gobble gobble gobble etc. Let's hope this outing gets gone. No worrying. Not yet. Let's at least wait until the dinosaurs see the asteroid.