Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Don Mattingly, Marlins lift ban on facial hair


Can Armageddon be far behind? Are we to be the last bastion of decent, clean-cut young men in the major leagues? Is there no end to the shaggy, bizarre and hillbillyesque appearance of modern ballplayers that plagues us?

After the greatness of Cobb, Ruth, Gehrig, DiMag, Mays, Mantle, Maris, Aaron. even Williams...is unrestrained unkemptness truly the only option in this, the age of furry facemen?

Have we forgotten the Red Sox embrace of facial hair and general Neanderthal appearance as a rallying point in 2004 and 2013? Must we all sink to their level of Bostonian beardedness?

Donnie, Donnie, Donnie...what hath thou wrought?


12 comments:

KD said...

You Photoshop dudes (looking at YOU, LBJ), give us some pictures of Babe Ruth et al. all furred up like U.S. Grant. Then tell me how this is a look the Yanks should emulate, all you in favor of Duck Dynasty ballplayers. As for me, I will not yield. Popular culture be damned! Be a rebel and a nonconformist! Shave your face!!

el duque said...

Anybody notice that Trump has no facial hair in his cabinet? Except for De Voss's 'stache.

Alphonso said...

I have said for years that the Yankees cannot win anymore, with the clean shaven, boy scout look. We need fur-faces and dreadlocks to proceed. It is like Samson ( ite?) losing his hair, when players are clean and shiny. We need dirt, grime, nose rings and bushy faces. All power, otherwise, drains into a puddle.

Come on Hal, you lead the way. The Steinbrenned " Van Dyke," would suit you.

Can you picture "Cave Man" Cashman prowling the stadium suite with a full beard and a bone in his nose?

It will be diverting. It will help us sign free agents.

It will help us win.

We are not winning now, and haven't for a decade. Time to adjust.

KD said...

Duque, That's because the Trumpster is a rebel and nonconformist, as evidenced by the entrenched politico's and Deep State's Dracula-hit-by-sunlight reaction to his presidency. I've never been so entertained by politics and mainstream pop culture. Simply unheard of to get a POTUS hated by conservatives and liberals alike. For those of us that can slip the earthly bonds of conventional thought, this is a lot of fun!

Anonymous said...

IF THE NO HAIR POLICY KEEPS US FROM SIGNING ONE IMPORTANT PLAYER THAT WE REALLY MUST HAVE, THEN IT IS NOT WORTH KEEPING THE POLICY IN PLACE..... THERE ARE PLAYERS WHO HAVE COMMENTED ABOUT "HATING IT", SOME HAVE EVEN SAID, THEY REFUSE TO HAVE A TEAM TELL THEM HOW THEY CAN LOOK....... IT'S HILARIOUS HOW HAL HAS SCRAPPED ALMOST ALL OF HIS FATHERS WELL INTENDED IMPETUOUSNESS TO HELP THE TEAM...EXCEPT THIS OUTDATED AND SILLY RULE THAT CAN COST US.

Buhner's Ghost said...

Wake up! It's almost 2020! When the Yankees enter the 21st Century, they should be more like the Mariners!

"We are a team of hair," manager Scott Servais noted. "There’s no doubt. That will be one of the things that stands out this year."

Servais mentioned the many long cuts to general manager Jerry Dipoto, who responded with a reference to the legendary House of David, a touring baseball team in the early 1900s known for its long hair and beards.

While some clubs enforce strict grooming rules, Servais said the Mariners will remain permissive.

"You’ve heard me say it enough: Be who you are," Servais said. "It’s society. Things are changing.

"I’m not about wearing the uniform the same way. If you’re going to preach, `Be who you are and let your personality come out,’ you have to let it go."

KD said...

Anyone else see the dissonance here? "Be who you are." juxtaposed with "It's society". CONFORM OR ELSE!! Let the Yankees be the Yankees! anyone unwilling to take millions to play on the New York Fucking YANKEES due to restrictions on facial follicles is a brat who cares nothing for the team nor its traditions. the Mariners? HA! Don't make me laugh! But I WILL laugh! HA! I did it again!! You MADE me!! Here's another one! HA-HA! (a double, no less)

Next thing you know, the pinstripes will have names on the back. Good GOD! Where will this all end? Stop the madness! and while I'm at it, bring back the stirrup socks!

KD said...

Yes. I am bored at work...

Anonymous said...

KD IS RIGHT ABOUT PLAYERS UNWILLING TO TAKE MILLIONS BECAUSE OF FACIAL HAIR RESTRICTIONS ARE MOST LIKELY SELFISH BABIES...... BUT THE PROBLEM IS THERE ARE TOO MANY OTHER TEAMS OUT THERE NOW, WHO ARE WILLING TO COUGH UP MILLIONS FOR PLAYERS, AND THEY LET THEM KEEP THEIR FACIAL HAIR AS THEY CHOOSE....DISADVANTAGE, YANKEES.

John M said...

I have to admit, I'm with KD. Not going to throw myself out a window over it, but still.

Alphonso said...

Okay, if we can't change the facial hair rule, let's require all Yankees to be bald.

el duque said...

Fat and bald.