Can Armageddon be far behind? Are we to be the last bastion of decent, clean-cut young men in the major leagues? Is there no end to the shaggy, bizarre and hillbillyesque appearance of modern ballplayers that plagues us?
After the greatness of Cobb, Ruth, Gehrig, DiMag, Mays, Mantle, Maris, Aaron. even Williams...is unrestrained unkemptness truly the only option in this, the age of furry facemen?
Have we forgotten the Red Sox embrace of facial hair and general Neanderthal appearance as a rallying point in 2004 and 2013? Must we all sink to their level of Bostonian beardedness?
Donnie, Donnie, Donnie...what hath thou wrought?