Friday, February 22, 2019

Gammonites: Yankees win the pennant! Yankees win the pennant!

Congratulations to the New York Yankees, crowned by the Yankee Press & Joy-Boosters Club as winners of the 2019 AL East! 






How time flies! It seems like just yesterday the camps were opening, and here they are: the scary good champions of the American League! How did it happen?

Simple! The front office smartly positioned its purse over its crotch and crossed its legs, avoiding that expensive malingerer, Manny Machado, who would have bankrupted both the team and city. Those damn greedy players! They simply wanted too much money. But the Yankees said no. 



Then, there was the crafty decision to ignore Bryce Harper and stand pat at 1B. (Money doesn't grow on trees.) first base. They had bench-pressing hero Luke "the Linebacker" Voit, plus the human breakout prediction, Greg Bird. He'd added 20 pounds of muscle and was raring to raise his average from the .199 he'd achieved in 2018. Everyone could a great year ahead. 


Okay, enough of the parlor games...

First, I don't mean to dis other Yankee blogs. I read them and respect them. Maybe they're right, and I'm wrong. And truth be told, neither Machado nor Harper were perfect fits for the 2019 team. 

What bothers me is the notion that the Yankees owner arbitrarily picks a number - $220 million - and caps payroll, while raking in higher revenues than at any time in history... and the media accepts this. The players are greedy, and the owner is thrifty: There's something wrong with that fundamental notion, and I cannot let it go by the boards.

The Yankees are one more player, one more free agent, from winning the AL East and reclaiming dominance over the Redsocks... because make no mistake here: While Hal Steinbrenner is counting pennies, Boston is winning the modern rivalry. This could be their second straight world championship, and when I look at the rest of baseball, I see only the Yankees standing in their way.

Yes, the 2019 team should be good. (I don't know what "scary good" means.)  Yes, they should contend for a Wild Card slot. But when I study this team, I see a house of cards. We are balancing the infield on a 34-year-old SS whose legs are a road map of surgical scars, and a pair of first basemen, neither of whom has a successful track record beyond 150 at bats. 

You can see this team winning 100 games. But with a slow start and a few key injuries to oft-injured players, you can see it crumbling into a "tank" mode by August 1. So the Yankees look like winners in the AL East? Congratulations. They won the winter. Didn't they win last winter, too?

7 comments:

13bit said...

I am typing this from my folding chair outside City Hall, where I am waiting with my tent and blanket, a few buckets of food, and some Ziploc bags to urinate in. I’m just waiting for the World Series victory parade.

JM said...

It's time the folks in Cooperstown recognized the great teams of the off-season, where we have won more championships than anyone, ever. (Just like the real team, but more!)

If everyone on our roster plays to his potential and has the breakout year the ace reporting staff predicts, we may not even lose a game. 162-0. It's never been done before, but this team just might do it! We're that good. Maybe.

Meanwhile, the Sox come in a mere second. After all, they only demolished everyone in their way last year, and didn't add key new pieces like Paxton and Ottavio and DJ and Tulo. Mostly because they didn't need to. Plus, they lost Kimbrel, although many a Sox fan will say they finally "got rid" of Kimbrel.

But as Michael Kay will tell you, we won 100 games last year and actually IMPROVED our roster this year!! Wow. We are headed for the moon, flags a-flyin'!

Yes, you are correct. We're dead in the water.

Anonymous said...

Harper would bee a real BOON to the team/ThisTeam

Anonymous said...

I WISH WE NEVER WON 100 GAMES LAST YEAR...

PEOPLE AND THE MEDIA KEEP POINTING TO THAT NUMBER.

EVERYONE USES THAT NUMBER LIKE WE ARE A "SUPERPOWER" TEAM, BUT WE WERE NOT.

WE GOT HOT FOR A MONTH AND A HALF, THEN BASICALLY PLAYED .500 THE REST OF THE WAY.

IT IS OUR NEMESIS THAT HAD THE SUPERPOWER TEAM.

I HAVE NEVER SEEN A TEAM HIT IN THE CLUTCH LIKE LAST YEAR'S RED SOX TEAM.

NEVER.

1 THRU 9, INCLUDING THE BENCH PLAYERS.

IT IS HARD TO IMAGINE A TEAM COMING THROUGH LIKE THAT 2 YEARS IN A ROW, BUT IF THEY DO, WE ARE FU@KED.

US?

SLIDER, SLIDER, SLIDER.

K....K....K.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Let's all look on the bright and positive side: If we were Pirate or Texas Ranger fans, this would be a suicide blog site.

HoraceClarke66 said...

But that's just it, Carl Weitz. If we were in Pittsburgh or—the JuJu gods forbid!—Arlington, Texas, we wouldn't have this website. Or at least not like this. We wouldn't expect a blessed thing out of our teams, because we would never have seen it—or at least not in many years.

This, too, is typical of what I find most annoying about the Hal Yankees ("Halankees"?) and their Gammmmonite supporters.

We're supposed to pretend that the past never happened, that we should be content with what we got last year. "100 victories? How can you complain? We're a fully loaded death star what you want to win every year these players cost money I got debt service debt service I'm tellin' ya you know the early Vegas line is big on us that Adam Ottavino Troy was very impressive good thing we signed up that Sevvy dare to take called third strike dare to hit into the shift dare to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results his second year in New York Stanton is bound to be better his second year back from his second surgery Bird is bound to be better the early Vegas line is very big onus dare money rat turds bound to be better best bullpen ever CC LeMahieu is willing to do anything Gardy can play left Didi will be back in August July Jne May bound to be better death star dare Vegas costs money you know!

Anonymous said...

Yes, Anonymous, Harper WOULD be more of a BOON to our team than Boone - - by a long shot.

Yeah, Hoss - - I think we just oughta' book our spots in the Canyon of Heroes - - why?? Why, because Allison Case told us so. A sage like that can't be wrong, can she??

Lucky that Vegas takes wire bets; wouldn't wanna' hafta' go out there - - they got SNOW... LB (No J)