Friday, February 8, 2019

Hal "I'm not cheap" Steinbrenner: “If there’s a narrative that we’re not spending money and being cheap, it’s just false."

Well, I NEVAH...!

Yesterday, Harold Zieg Steinbrenner set the record straight, once and for all, for everyone to hear...

“If there’s a narrative that we’re not spending money and being cheap, it’s just false. I mean, we’re well above $200 million — we’re at $220 right now — and we’re well above where we were last year. We did everything we wanted to do to really improve, again, the pitching, because that’s where I wanted improvement, because as far as I’m concerned pitching was a big problem in the division series, more so than anything else.”

So goes the eternal lament of ownership: Nobody ever has enough pitching, and nobody ever makes any money.

Upon reflection, we at IT IS HIGH hereby wish to apologize to the Yankee owner for our truthless deceits, prevaricational canards and vigorously misspelled whoppers of false innuendo. 

For some reason, we were under the impression that the Boston Redsocks outspent the Yankees by $46 million last year, en route to the world championship. 

Somehow we'd gotten it into our heads that Yankee revenues have skyrocketed over the years, while payroll has flat-lined, and that - jeeze, how did we come to think such things? - that Bryce Harper actually wants to play in New York rather than Philadelphia.

That's what happens when you read published reports, outside of YES Network. 

We apologize. We must have been stoned last season when we imagined the value of the team soaring - according to scurrilous sources such as Forbes - while the Yankees were cutting payroll to land below the luxury tax threshold.

I'm flabbergasted to think that, somehow, we came up with sad false narrative that the Yankees this winter would sign a lefty bat to balance their lineup, and that it would involve one of the big name free agents. Well, we did sign somebody: DJ LeMahieu! How did we miss this?

We are sorry for our misdeeds. So sorry. So so very very sorry. As owner of the Yankees, Mr. Steinbrenner should not have to put up with our tripe. Why can't we just shut up and cheer? You know what would serve us right? What if Mr. Steinbrenner decides to sell the team to somebody who is really cheap. You know, like Jeff Bezos or Vladimir Putin. Then we'd get our rightful what-for. But clearly, that's not going to happen. Nothing could force him to sell. Wait a minute: Anybody have a yearbook photo of him in blackface?

11 comments:

13bit said...

What a lying sack of shit. I guess he just got his full fledged membership card to the “Fake News Gaslighting Mindfuck Club.“ when you’re that rich, I guess it’s easy to think that people will actually believe every stupid thing you say. Fuck you, Ziggy.

13bit said...

“IF there’s a narrative...it’s false.”

George Orwell would be proud of you, Captain Vaseline Mouth.

ranger_lp said...

Blame the analytics...the data makes the decisions not the upper management. Let's just play the games on computers instead of the stadiums. At least the computer games will be shorter than the stadium games. Data says don't waste your money long term on Machado or Harper.

Anonymous said...

HIS FATHER IS SPINNING IN HIS GRAVE.

IN ANOTHER 5 YEARS HE WILL SAY, "WE HAVE OUR SALARY AT $245 MILLION! WE SPEND!"

DIDN'T MENTION A WORD ABOUT BEATING THE RED SOX AND WINNING THE DIVISION.

WE REALLY ONLY BROUGHT IN 1 NEW STARTING PITCHER!

.....AND OUR LINEUP DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH BALANCE!

YOUR GM SUCKS AND IS COSTING YOU MORE MONEY WITHOUT RESULTS!

WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

Anonymous said...


Or, we could look at it this way...

He felt the need to address it. Meaning, that even inside his bolus of YES men, and living on the safe side of the "moat" he hears the peasants screaming his name.

He knows that the rabble, from the people who only buy the $40 seats and one hot dog to those of us who plunk down our $120 a year to watch from afar, are angry.

He knows even if he doesn't care, that Boston has a much better team we do.

So despite his self serving whine... Look at the progression of remarks.

1) We did enough. We spent a LOT of money! On the important things!

"We did everything we wanted to do to really improve … the pitching. That’s what I wanted to improve. As far as I’m concerned, pitching was a big problem in the division series. More so than anything else.”

2) We don't have as much as the common man thinks. There are expenses. Running an organization has a LOT of costs.

"I hear nothing about the gargantuan debt service payment that we have to pay every year [about $90 million]. Nothing about all of our stadium operations, all the security. Not to mention player payroll. Not to mention revenue sharing."

But finally

3) I'm open to adding other players if (the price is right)

“I wouldn’t be surprised [with another big acquisition] because these guys come to me all the time with stuff,” Steinbrenner said of his baseball operations employees. “I can’t tell you if, 17 days from now, they come to me with some kind of proposal that I say no or I say yes. I just can’t tell you that right now.”

I still say Harper remains a possibility. Hal hasn't frozen over yet.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

HAL, LET ME EXPLAIN WHAT YOUR TRUSTED GM HAS DONE SO FAR...

ADAM OTTAVINO $30 MILLION
CC SABATHIA $8 MILLION
BRETT GARDNER $7.5 MILLION
DJ LEMAHIEU $24 MILLION
TROY TULOWITSKI $500,000

THAT'S A TOTAL OF $70 MILLION DOLLARS.

NOT ONE OF THOSE PLAYERS WAS TRULY NEEDED.

I BELIEVE WE NEEDED HAPP AND BRITTON BACK AS FALLBACK'S BECAUSE OF INJURY POSSIBILITIES WITH ANY OF OUR STARTERS PLUS CHAPMAN IN THE PEN.

....AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME WE WOULD NOT BE A WINNING TEAM WITH TORREYES AT 2ND AND GLEYBER AT SHORT UNTIL DIDI COMES BACK.

WE HAVE ALL WATCHED ENOUGH BASEBALL IN OUR LIVES TO CONFIRM OUR BELIEF IN TORREYES'
CAPABILITIES....COOP IS OFF-BASE ON TORREYES, AND HE TOSSED A LOW COST, PROVEN SOLID INFIELD OPTION AWAY FOR NOTHING.

THIS YANKEE TEAM WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITH THE SIMPLE SIGNINGS OF HAPP, BRITTON, AND BRYCE HARPER.

TAKE THE $70 MILLION WASTED AND APPLY IT TO BRYCE'S CONTRACT, WHATEVER IT MAY BE.

BRYCE'S COST IS A LOT LOWER THAN IT WAS 3 MONTHS AGO, THAT'S FOR SURE.

AW, FUCK IT....

TOO LATE NOW.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Black face? What, the "Kinky Boots" tape isn't enough?

HoraceClarke66 said...

The "improvements" have been mind-glowingly small, if they can be said to exist at all:

—Re-signed a number four starter. Who is now revealed to have a life-threatening heart condition.

—Signed a pretty good, oft-injured number three starter to replace a mediocre-to-bad number five starter. At the cost of the organization's leading pitching prospect.

—Replaced a 33-year-old righty reliever with a terrific track record for us, wit an intermittently good, 33-year-old righty reliever from another team.

—Replaced our very capable, utility infielder, with another very capable utility infielder.

Th-th-that's all folks! That's what our owner considers really shoring up the pitching and improving our team.

Anonymous said...

WHEN BOSTON BRINGS IN MATT BARNES TO FACE GIANCARLO STANTON WITH THE SEASON ON THE LINE....

STRIKE 1
STRIKE 2
SLIDER STRIKE 3

SEASON OVER.

FUCK IT ALL.

UP THE ASS.

13bit said...

Good points, Hoss, Doug and All-Caps

HoraceClarke66 said...

Also, I meant, "mind-blowingly." I would like a little mind glow, actually. My pappy and me used to make it in the still by the old hollowed tree...