Monday, February 4, 2019

Will Boston fans even bother to chant "Yankees suck!" during the Patriots victory celebration?

We know their venom seems endless, but I wonder when Boston sports fans will grow bored with kicking their NY patsies. This week, when the throngs gather to cheer another championship, I'm sure a few old-timers will raise the Yankee chant, mostly out of nostalgia. They'll be like Trump fans chanting "Lock her up!" which makes no sense, but it fills in the gaps when you'd otherwise have to think. Get good and drunk, and chant anything. That's America today, isn't it?

But do the Yankees warrant their attention, anymore? In pro sports, Boston has been eating our breakfast, lunch and dinner now for so long that it's hard to remember the days of The Curse. Since the meltdown of 2004, the Redsocks have dominated our rivalry, and the Patriots have become the Green Bay Packers of the NFL. New York is a city of pygmies. The superstars are in Boston.

Consider this sad, painful, ranking of current sports titans between the two cities.

1. Tom Brady
2. Mookie Betts
3. Bill Belichick
4. Chris Sales
5. Aaron Judge

6. Gronk
7. JD Martinez
8. Giancarlo 

9. Odell Beckham
10. Kyrie Irving 


What does this say about NY sports? It screams that we no longer have a Jeter or a Mariano, that Eli Manning has become a concrete-footed liability, that the Knicks will always be the Knicks, and that when people ponder the Rangers - in those exquisitely rare moments that anyone does - they still think of Rod Gilbert. The Jets, Mets, Nets... the eternal Forgets. In terms of sports, New York has become Syria. 

I raise this today because of the incredible opportunity that still presents itself: The Yankees could open their thick wallet and bring Bryce Harper to the Bronx. They could wipe the drunken smirks off the faces of Boston fans, and force the Redsock management to spend its money in response. But they won't do this. If you're wondering about "collusion," folks, it's not between the owners of the Padres and the Royals; they've always been cheap. The actual collusion this winter is between teams like the Yankees and Redsocks, neither of which has added a "star" who would seemingly reshuffle the cards. 

Oh, no... wait. I'm sorry. The Yankees have signed one exciting, electrifying new superstar: DJ LeMahieu. He's going to dazzle New York with his glovework at 2B and his amazing ability to not strike out. The Master will be apoplectic.  

"... AND HERE HE COMES, SUZYN, YOU CAN FEEL THE EXCITEMENT RISING THROUGH THE STADIUM, IT'S DJ LEMAHIEU, WHO ALMOST NEVER STRIKES OUT! GATHER AROUND, EVERYBODY, BECAUSE HE'S PROBABLY GOING TO HIT THE BALL SOMEWHERE! THE CROWD ON ITS FEET! LISTEN TO THE CHEERS! I CAN'T BARELY HEAR MYSELF! 

"DAVID PRICE STARES IN... CHECKS THE SIGN... DEALS... THUUUUUUUUH PITCH... A GROUNDER TO SHORTSTOP! HE'S AMAZING! ISN'T IT INCREDIBLE HOOOOOH, MISTER DEEJAY! ANOTHER BALL IN PLAY! WHO'S THE MAN WHO DOESN'T FAN? LEMAHIEU! THAT'S WHO!"

My guess is that the Boston crowd will still chant "Yankees suck." It will be like old times. Fun for the family. 

9 comments:

KD said...

we sign Harper, then take the Division from them. Hal is now haggling with Harper's agent regarding free access to the post game buffet. It's the only sticking point left. Rumor has it that Bryce is barred from several all you can eat chicken places in the D.C. area. Hey, free chow is a privilege, not a right. Fried chicken doesn't grow on trees, you know.

13bit said...

Such a joke, this off season. Such a "fuck you," slap-in-the-face, demonstration of callous disregard towards the plebes (we fans) and a grand buttplug up the ass of the Yankees' history, legacy and glory.

I'm tired of saying "George would have done this." We all know what George probably would have done. George is now dead. Stick and Bob are gone - that old dance team - that a bunch of sulfurous farts are floating around the executive suites, thinking about everything BUT winning. "How can we monetize this?" "Can we pry YES back into our fold?" "Who do we pay off at the Health Department?"

I KNOW it has always been a business, but they don't even pretend now to even ACT like it's a game, as well. "Fully operational death star" - do you even believe your own bullshit, Brian, or are you a teddy bear that just says the same stupid ten things every time somebody pulls the wire in your stomach? Fully operational dog shit.

I don't care how many times we go over shit on paper, the pitching is suspect, at best, the hitting is not situational and it's sinking towards the righties. The same old shitty coaches are there, along with our stellar moron manager. Yes, he won 100 games. Yes, Avis was a pretty good car rental company. He's a comatose idiot. Sorry.

I'll go to a game this year if I can convince enough of you all to go. We can do the $15 pinstripe pass, my favorite thing from 2017, and meet somewhere, but not at the bat, I guess. We can then walk around and gripe and eat at every concession in the joint. We can even sit down and watch on TV, just like real people, at those tables that they set up. Maybe it's not about baseball, actually. Maybe it's about eating and bitching. Maybe I'm being too much of an asshole to expect them to try to win or to spend the extra money to get us a dynamic left hand hitter. Maybe it's my fault for expecting so much.

Casey? Billy? Babe? What anachronisms. They wanted to beat the shit out of the other team on the field.

Leinstery said...

It's downright depressing how lopsided things are and have been since 2000. The Yankees are New York's only hope and they are far outclassed by the Red Sox. At least we'll always sleep soundly at night knowing that the Pats never went 19-0. Massholes like to pretend it doesn't bother them, but it does.

Alphonso said...

I think number 9 in your list is wrong.

Beckham will never do what Edelman ( #11) did in yesterday's super bowl.

In fact, Beckham will never get there.

KD said...

I am almost beaten. my lowly management juju has been pathetically ineffective. Big Yankees contracts are now a thing of the past. They disappeared along with Hank Steinbrenner. Hal apparently can't see past his little, twitchy, rodent-like nose.

I hereby dub this phenomena (the NYY abhorrence of any long-term contracts) "The Curse of Ellsbury". If this holds, we will always finish behind the redsocks. The exceptions will be the brief periods between redsockian dynasties when they purposely tank and reload. At that point our team "built for the wild card" might actually have a chance at the Division Title. Something to look forward to, I suppose...

Anonymous said...

Fear not! It's all fixable.

Yes, ownership across the board is truly bad but What If...

1. Tom Brady - Gronk Retires. He only can throw to him and the other guy. People figure out that he can't throw long and shorten the field on defense. Done! The magic is ending.

2. Mookie Betts - No team wins 108 back to back. plus Chris Sale's arm falls off. -7 Yanks win division.

3. Bill Belichick - See #1

5. Aaron Judge - Add Harper and a Stanton Resurgence. Done!

6. Gronk - Retires. If he doesn't he will be permanently injured. He's not stupid.
Gone!

7. JD Martinez - See #2

8. Giancarlo See number 5

9. Odell Beckham - Trade him to Oakland for David Carr, and one of their 3 first round picks. Plus two seconds. Oakland picks a QB at 4. We have new QB and fix both sides of the line. Doesn't make us the Patriots but at least they will be watchable.

10. Kyrie Irving - Sign him as FA with any other super max guy. Plus the tank gets the Knicks Zion and suddenly the Knicks are Very good. Basketball is the easiest of all sports to turn around. Add three superstars and it's a different team.

I'm not saying this will happen. I'm just saying there's a chance. This Boston thing can be reversed.

Doug K.

KD said...

Oh, sure. we might benefit from somebody else's long term contract to a superstar when the original team falters and seeks a salary dump. I never said Hal doesn't appreciate a bargain. it strokes his ego as Master Scavenger and Financial Genius. Hal will finally get Bezos to return his phone calls.

TheWinWarblist said...

We watched the puppy bowl. Thinking of getting a Welsh corgi.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Was there a Super Bowl this year? I saw some dreary, mid-season game last night. Figured I must have recorded it in November or so.