Thursday, February 28, 2019

Searching for meaning, when meanings are meaningless

The infield merry-go-round has begun: Gleyber at SS, General Curtis LeMahieu at 2B and - (surely only for February) - hitting second. (He turned two DPs, though.) It's a sign the brain trusts recognizes that Troy Tulowitzky needs bubble-wrap. Will shuffling Torres affect his hitting? Close your eyes, imagine a couple tweaked gonads, and you can see a keystone combo of Tyler Wade and Pete Kozma. Where the hell is Ronald Torreyes? 

Greg Bird is hot: Existential Question: Does it matter? The Birdman (Or - full name - Birdman: The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) - has ruled two previous spring camps, then, during the regular season, turned into an Americanized version of Ji-Man Choi. The Death Star is expected to carry only one 1B - either Bird or Cool Hand Luke Voit. The loser gets steak knives... and a ticket to Scranton/Wilksbuktu. Bird's LH bat could give him an edge. Or is it Luke's job to lose? Can he eat 50 eggs a half hour?

Clint Frazier is cold. Seriously, does it matter? The former Red Thunder - he's requested a new nickname implant - is likely destined to start the season in Clark Summit... unless someone gets hurt. But certainly, that seems unlikely. Gardner, Hicks, Stanton, Judge, Ellsbury... none of them ever gets hurt, right? 

Uh-oh. Didn't see this happening. Both Chance Adams and Domingo Acevedo suffered humiliating, demoralizing, paralyzing openers. Both are - were - whisper candidates to fill out the rotation, after CC falters, (ETA: mid-June.) If both flop - I mean, completely and utterly flop - that's a relatively minor glitch on the road to the Wild Card, but it's a major disappointment to prospect-huggers everywhere. Last Chance? Last Domingo?

Perpetually young rifle arm Albert Abreu supposedly hit 97 on the spring radar gun, which is sort of like wowing Drew Barrymore on that new talent search show. (I get them mixed up, but she can sure make her eyeballs pop in the promos; is that dangerous?) It sure would be nice if Abreu - or somebody, anybody, one of the Greta Van Fleet of "live arms" being annually touted in camp - can actually deliver. As it is, you just brace yourself for the next elbow surgery. Anybody hear from Michael King lately? Oh well, see for yourself...





5 comments:

ranger_lp said...

Is that 135.0 ERA a Guinness Book World Record?

John M said...

McBroom is hitting .400!!!! McBroom is hitting .400!!!! McBroom is hitting .400!!!!

13bit said...

Team Nihilism for the win!

Alphonso said...

No offense, but everyone ( except Jordan Montgomery ) hits 97 on the spring radar gun.

As with plants, however, that 97 wilts in the summer sun.

And the Yankees go limp.

TheWinWarblist said...

So have our nipples ...