Saturday, February 9, 2019

Big changes this year in baseball show evolution of sport

First, I'm keeping this brief today, like Bezo chopping at David Pecker, so you can skip down to Local Bargain Jerk's heartfelt love ode to the new Yankee Stadium/imploding death star.

Two big announcements this week testify to baseball's changing times.

1. Zach Britton will now be called Zack Britton. Holy crap. This will take getting used to. I'll probably say "Zach" 30 times before I realize it's "Zach." (Oops, I did it again!) It's Zack. Wow. This is going to be freaky for The Master. I wonder if Boonie will call him Zacky? Or Brittony. (Oops, I did it again!) Wait... that's a joke.

2. MLB is going to no longer call the Disabled List the Disabled List. From now on, it's the Injured List - the I.L. They are making this change out of respect for disabled people, and I suppose that's nice. But what about injured people? They don't count? I whacked my toe on a coffee table last week. It still hurts. I'm out with an injury. So now, I should be ostracized? 

Enough. Now read Bargain Jerk's piece. (And of course, Alphonso's.) 

12 comments:

Vampifella said...

Breaking news! Word going around right now that the Yankees have reportedly made a 7-8 year $220 million offer to Manny Machado. But then again that sounds like what the other teams has been offering right along for months now. White Sox and Phillies especially. I feel that's what he's really worth and the only thing that's left is how many opt outs he can get from a team. No sense paying the big bucks for Harper or Manny past 33 really when that's when most player start their decline (without any drugs to keep them going of course).

13bit said...

We need a lefty. Why are these morons such morons? That is the moronic question I ask today.

Anonymous said...

INJURED LIST/DISABLED LIST?

HOW RIDICULOUS ARE THINGS GETTING?

Anonymous said...

13 BIT SPEAKS THE TRUTH!

OF COURSE COOP AND HAL WOULD MAKE THE OFFER TO THE GUY WE DON'T NEED!

IF WE GET MACHADO, THEN WHAT WITH TULO, LEMAHEIU, AND ANDUJAR?

IT LOOKS LIKE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK WE'RE DOING!

WE NEED A LEFTY HITTER!

MORONS FOR SURE.

Der Kaiser said...

I don't understand the DL / IL business, aside from the fact that it's silly. I feel like disabled was a much more apt term. What if a player is ill? An illness is not an injury, but still renders the player unable to play, i.e. dis-abled.

Publius said...

"Unavailable List"

This isn't difficult.

Anonymous said...

Once they solve the DL/IL issue they need to institute some new designations

NGE - Not good enough.

FTG - Fix this guy.

IDH - In dog house

GHTFOH - Get him the fuck out of here.

and of course

JE Jacoby Ellsbury. Who is a category unto himself.

Doug K.

Anonymous said...

HOW ABOUT LEAVING IT THE WAY IT'S BEEN FOREVER?

DISABLED LIST.

IF SOMEONE GETS OFFENDED, TELL THEM TO GROW UP, NO OFFENSE INTENDED.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


I think it should be called the "Physically Retarded" list. That won't offend anyone, will it?

13bit said...

How about "The Carl Pavano Honor Roll" or "Booney's Lunchtime Menu - Not Served at Game Time," or "Those Who Are Fucked For The Moment?"

Surely, as LBJ pointed out, there's a way to say this while remaining sensitive to 21st Century sensibilities. Surely surely surely, my brethren.

Of course, All CAPS and Doug K also have good suggestions. Everybody is right. I don't want to offend everybody. Hey! While we're at it, what if we just give EVERYBODY a trophy and say that the World Series has no winners and no losers? We're just all here to support each other. Life is hard. Why make it harder?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Well, first it should be, "Diablek List" in honor of Zack Britton.

Barring that, I think we should go back to our Civil War roots and go with "Invalid Corps."

Joe F said...

Ooohhhh oooh Yes Hoss,but only if we can call admin...The "vegetable" garden...