Excerpts from today's meeting between the Redsocks and George W. Bush

“Hey, Jason Varitek, have you starting thinking of what you’re going to buy with that $600 rebate?”
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“As President, I felt I couldn’t take sides. But when I heard you guys won, I was really happy for Rudy.”
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“Coco, listen. I want you to forget what the Blue Jays told you. Nobody wants to save the penguins more than I do.”
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“Frankly, why did Roger even need a personal trainer? When Condi and I are on the Stairmaster, the last thing we want is some guy yelling at us.”
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“I’ll take your ideas to the Postal Service, Manny. I honestly can’t say we’ve ever considered a commemorative stamp for Jenna Jamison.”
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“I’ve seen Debbie Clemens’ picture, and let me tell you, that’s as close as Waxman’s ever going to get.”
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“Yes, I'll grant you the link between securitization and the subprime crisis, and I’ll concede your point about over-exaggerated default risks to third-party investors, but for gosh sakes, Big Papi, calm down!”
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“Stand back, guys, that’s not Don Zimmer! That’s Cheney, and he’s fixing to make a bull rush on Senator Kennedy!”
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“So how did you like it when we unleashed those Lake Erie gnats on the Yankees? I’ll tell you, Chertoff worked late on that one.”
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“Curt Schilling! They say you’re going to be sidelined until the all-star break. How would you like to be my War on Terror Czar?”
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“I view waterboarding as a purpose pitch. You don’t hit 'em in the head. That just creates baserunners. You throw at the head, and make 'em think you're gonna hit 'em.”
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“I tell you, the Africans are very appreciative about what we send. You should have seen how proud they are of their T-shirts. I didn’t have the heart to tell them the Rockies lost.”

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“Jacoby Ellsbury! Twenty-four years old! When I was your age, we were embroiled a long, terrible war, and I was defending my country in the Texas Air National Guard. At least, that what they tell me. I don't remember.”

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“Two World Championships! You guys... you’re my legacy!”