Future Yankee-based email spam messages from Eastern Europe

Hey, wanna bring it like Joba? Come to our clubhouse. You will be biggest bull in pen.

My girlfriend says I was Ron Guidy. Now I am Boomer Wells! Visit my site and you can be Mr. Perfect in bed.

I was amaze at how my fastball dropped. Now, my curve balls hang proudly. I pitch all night and close like Mariano! Free-shipping, too.

First base problems? Not anymore! Amazing Tino replicas! Just like originals. Visit our site at clonetino.com.

Unleash the Zim in your dugout and watch her go Pedro with anticipation!

Come to our Brian McNamee pharmacy, and you have bigger better butt, bigger better everything. (We ship 94-mph, like Phil Hughes.)

Have stronger Wang in time for opening day! We ship all way from China.

Go from a D to an A-Rod! She will be high. She will be far. She will be... gone.