Oo-lala!! Our first super-sexy swimsuit edition!

THEY ARE HGH, THEY ARE FAR, THEY ARE... CAUGHT.

It's time for the kinky Sports Illustrated cottage-industry edition of glossy soft-porn, cloaked in appeasement articles about women's sports, which will run for the next month. Eat your heart out, Time-Warner. Or at least, get into steamy sight of these shortstops.
Moving to politics, here's Russia's teaser-in-chief Vlad Putin, "putin'" on a show!

Look! It's the President and Mr. Clinton!

And then there were days when Nancy only fell... for her man!

Hey! There's Yank ace Kei, modeling the latest swimware from Walmart.

Captain Jeet lookin' sweet.

Hey, guys. Save it for later!

No swimsuit edition is complete without a disturbingly lecherous look at some wives! Once upon a time, they didn't spend 14-hours a day in a gym, between shots of HGH. Yet, as the Scooter would say, they were "not too shabby." Take a look and some real beauty.

Mr. & Mrs. Lou Gehrig

Mr. & Mrs. George Herman Ruth

Last but not least, Mrs. Babe Ruth and Mrs. Lefty Gomez

OK, show's over. Either put another quarter in the slot, or get back to work.