"Testing, one, two, praise-the-Lord, three...
"Forgive me, O wise and caring Media, for I hath sinned!
"In unmanned moments of weakened spirit, I hath plucked forbidden fruit from the Tree of Fortified Jib and sipped heartily from the needle of its illegal meadcup.
"I renounce myself! I condemn myself! I abhor myself!
"I am vulgar. I am not even worthy of thy ink, lest it be brewed from the poison stain of treachery.
"Before you stands a man of disgrace who would happily pluck out his eyes and pitch them to the dungheap if it would restore honor to the House of Steinbrenner.
"Alas, no blood can be shed in this quest.
"The time for forgiveness is at hand.
"It is not yours to bestow. Forgiveness flows from a higher Power.
"And to Him, the Lord George, I do beseech it.
"Amen. Now I will take questions. You, sir, with the bad haircut."
REPORTER: Should Joba start or pitch out of the pen?
Monday, February 18, 2008
"A sinner stands before ye:" Advanced Text of Andy Pettitte's News Conference Today
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2 comments:
Jesus Christ!
Andy wishes that was what the questions will be about.
He'd say it too if he could put together a coherent sentence.
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