"WELL, I NEVAH!" Righteous NFL steamed over Hank suggestion that behemouths juice

This is beyond contempt! Beyond reason! Beyond our human capability to forgive!


Something must be done! There oughta be a law! Somebody oughta take that Steinbrenner punk into the weight room for a few hard, clean jerks.

Hank Steinbrenner has the unmitigated audacity suggest steroids are used in the NFL.

Why, it's just in-con-seeeeev-able!

The NFL tests its players. The NFL runs a strident public campaign against steroids. The NFL tells children whenever possible that steroids are bad.


Haven't you read the NFL press releases?

Those 360-pound guards? Hey, nobody ever acccused Baby Huey of juicing. He was just big.


The 270-pounders who run the 100 in 9.6? They eat right, live clean and don't download music off the Internet, which is stealing!


How dare he impugn the NFL?


The National Football League's Code of Honor is professional sports' most cherished ideal.


Because of that alone, and in the spirit of great sportsmen such as Jerry Jones and Bill Belichick, nobody -- NOBODY -- would ever try to figure out a way to get around the drug tests.


OK. Enough. END OF DISCUSSION.


Now... go to the NFL site. Now. At the Draft Combine, we're measuring thighs. Whoo-wee, wait'll you see some of those packages!