Who in God's name does Salomon Eduardo Manriquez think he is?!

Salomon Eduardo Manriquez.

Salomon. Eduardo. Manriquez.

How dare you? How dare you send a ball leaving the hand of The Savior of Port St. Lucie -- Johan Santana -- into orbit?

You cad.

Sure, it was only batting practice. Sure it was on some dinky field. But you sir, a 24-year-old catcher from Venezuela, will soon find yourself toiling in the backwater towns of America, riding on buses and sharing rooms with pimply faced high schoolers from Alabama who turned down an education because they were the 567th draft pick in 2001.

You hack!

Trying to explore your glorious baseball career, we ventured to the Mets' official Web site and we found this: "There is no biography information available for this player."

You cramp!

LEAVE THE SAVIOR ALONE!