Wednesday, July 8, 2009

THE NIGHT THE MUSIC DIED: JOHN STERLING DELIVERS NO WINWARBLE

America... We are officially in a depression.

Children... There is no Santa Claus.
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Yankiverse... Jesus Montero is not coming.
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Last night, the Doomsday Yankee Clock ticked closer to Armageddon.
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John Sterling, the Jeep-driven Voice of the Yankees failed to render a traditional WinWarble, following what appeared to be a Yankee victory over Minnesota.
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The staff and directorship of IT IS HIGH are hereby calling an emergency web meeting for this evening to discuss the meaning of this chilling omen and potentially crippling event within the Yankiverse.
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Today, the concrete pillars of Yankeality are bending like strawberry Twizzlers, and the Yankiverse may be contracting, rather than expanding.
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John Sterling did not WinWarble. What is going on?
Hear it for yourself. WARNING: May be too depressing for small children.



5 comments:

Stang said...

...

What?

Ross said...

My fiance is making excuses saying "maybe he had something stuck in his throat." Serious denial among Yankees fans. Sad day.

s. kobak said...

he was depressed all night long. suzyn and john probably had a lovers' quarrel. When A-Rod hit that A-Bomb and Gomez caught it, he didn't even do "high...far...caught"

Whitey Fraud said...

I blame you and your freewheeling anything-goes approach to democracy and realty

It's all on YOU, el Douchebag!

Now, we ALL have to pay for your sins.

Live with that... if you can.

OOP said...

are you guys talking about harold moskowitz? i'm confused.