Saturday, August 7, 2010

10 Real Reasons Why Lance Berkman Didn't Slide to Try and Break Up Last Night's Double Play

He claims he hoped to block the throw from first. The truth:

1. He loves the spotlight of New York.

2. At his weight, if he hits the dirt, he might never get up.

3. He's still learning the Designated Hitter positon.

4. He was watching pretty lights on the Jumbotron.

5. What's the diff? It's only the NL Central!

6. He wanted to get in some extra jogging.

7. He left his sliding pads in Houston.

8. Who can slide while wearing Depends?

9. He's heard of a great prayer group in Scranton.

10. He's still loves his Ass-tros.

2 comments:

adam said...

Shit even Ortiz slid into second when he got thrown out during the All-Star game. EMBARRASSING. THIS TEAM SUCKS. CASHMAN NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN.

David Ballela said...

Berke's Law

Hey Yank fans
Give me some slack
I've got nothing left in my big bat
I'm from the NL
A league that's below level
If you're forsaking wins
We're bringing Berke's Law
Hey Yank fans
You're losing time
If we don't grab this moment
It would be a crime
Don't blame me, admit it
Let Cash be convicted
If you're forsaking wins
We're making Berke's Law