In a strikingly similar situation to that of AJ Burnett, famed Yankee blogger Alphonso was a last-minute scratch from last night's televised game between the Yankees and Redsocks.
Contacted in an undisclosed vacation lair, the veteran master of negative Yankee juju confirmed that he was rendered unable to watch an ESPN Sunday night game because his family - including inlaws - demanded to watch Mad Men, a television show featuring 1950s retro fashions, Hemmingwayesque drinking habits and a redheaded lady with breasts the size of Tom Cruise and Danny Devito.
"I can't watch," Alphonso rasped, in a phone call from a cellar coal bin, a setting eerily reminiscient of Anne Frank writing in her diary. "Hopefully catch up on Monday."
For years, Alphonso has used negative juju to jumpstart Yankee teams. In 1999 - I am not making this up - he actually rode in the Canyon of Heroes victory celebration, part of the franchise's gratitude for his contributions.
Now... will he stay in the coal bin and watch television shows until we lose?
Stay tuned.
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2 comments:
Does Alphonso own a radio? Because that John Sterling is really good.
I love being reduced to a captive in a coal bin as long as the Yankees win.
Get over here and rescue me now.
It is 10:00am and the clam bar is open. They have drafts and Jack.
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