Yankeetorial: This "sorry about Sori" business smacks of Kansas City Royalism

Friday, the Steinbrothers plunked down $36 million to sign the best free agent available, the first positive Yankee news since Jorge was moved to DH. We solidified our bullpen, bought Mariano term insurance, cleaved an inning off each starter's workload -- for money and a draft pick.

The way some are reacting, you'd think we sold a kidney for bottle of wine.

Chad Jennings at Lohud: Soriano has all the leverage, and that’s the financial danger of this deal. The Yankees are taking on all of the risk. Soriano’s only risk is that he won’t be pitching the ninth inning (though he’ll still be paid like a closer).

At River Ave, Joe Pawlikowski: Knowing what we know now, about relievers in general and Soriano specifically, I’m not too excited over this deal.

At Pinstripe Alley, Ed Valentine titled his piece, "Why the Soriano signing might not improve the Yankees."

WTF? These are some of my favorite bloggers. I love these guys... and yet, look at them: nitpicking, ungrateful oh-dears. For the first time since their dad's death, the Steins are throwing money around -- remember, it's their money, not ours -- and bloggers are wringing their hands like Meryl Streep. They're telling everybody what they would have done -- oh, yes, they'd have sweet-talked Lee, negotiated with  Crawford, signed Brad Penny - NO, they'd have added Nunez to the Lee package last summer, so we'd have won the World Series and... oh fukkit.

Yankiverse, have you forgotten the Iron Rule of Yankeedom?

WE HAVE THE MONEY. WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT COSTS. WE ONLY CARE ABOUT WINNING.

People... we're New York, not Newark. We're not getting donations from Facebook. We're not selling war bonds. We're flush with $200 million once meant for Cliff Lee and Andy Pettitte, with owners who could have used the cash to convert their home DVD collections to BlueRay. We are stronger with Soriano than without him. And these blogger experts are fretting -- yowling about implications for Joba (it means nothing for Joba, who remains the soul architect of his own career fate) or the troubled rotation (CC Sabathia just saved at least 40 innings, pitching now 7-inning games rather than going eight; that's five starts).

Ingrates. That's what we sound like... ingrates.

Well, not here. Me? I'm celebrating. I'm drunk. Been drunk since 9 a.m. Friday. Driving the streets, weaving through traffic, running bloggers off the roads. See that guy out the window, pissing on your lawn? Texting? That's me. I AM DRUNK. UNDERSTAND? Quit yer bellyachin, Yankiverse. We need this guy. This is a great signing. Don't believe me? Go ask a Redsock fan how he feels. Pop the cork. We are back in the game.