10 "controversial" jokes John Sterling would have told, if he hosted the Golden Globes

1. It's a shame Lindsay Lohan can't make it tonight, but at least we know she safe in rehab. Keep your family safe and secure with New York Life.

2. The Yankees are looking everywhere for arms. I hear Zsa Zsa Gabor's might soon be available.

3. Too bad nobody saw "The Tourist," with Angelina Jolie. An A-Bomb.. from A-Jol!

4. I loved "Megamind." Why didn't Hank Steinbrenner get nominated for the starring role?

5. In "Burlesque," it sure was a treat to see Cher, who's now undergone more surgeries than Damaso Marte.

6. In "Black Swan," what a surprise to see Wynona Ryder dance ballet.  We knew she had light fingers; who knew she had light toes?

7. The Yankees next year will hold Mel Gibson Day at the stadium. The first 500 female fans get punched in the jaw.

8. I loved "The Fighter." You're on the Mark, Wahlberg!

9. Next year, Charlie Sheen will bring snack cakes for the seventh inning of Yankee broadcasts. Charlie's currently living with Little Debbie.

10. Of course, 2010 was the year Hollywood finally made a movie about Javier Vazquez. Jonah Hex.

BONUS. Thuuuuuuuuugh winner... Colin Firth... takes firth place!