Who Has A .212 Batting Average Over The Last 4 Years?

Hint; The Yankees just signed him for $2,000,000.

This is so American. We pay up for failure.

More hints: he is a major distraction in the clubhouse.

His teammates in Chicago peed on his clothes when he showered. They hated him. Even the locker room guys couldn't stand him.

He can't run or throw.

If someone hits a lazy fly ball right to him, on a cloudy day, he will likely catch it.

A fly ball under any other circumstances will become an adventure. I know that Marcus is the worst fielder in the states. But this guy, who used to be great at defense ( when he was laughing at us and hitting 51 HRs ) can't do anything in baseball anymore.

He will never throw anyone out at a base.

He will kill more rallies coming off the bench than Derek hits into double plays. I'm going to keep count.

I think Brian Cashman hit his head on that building he rappelled down from, and they aren't telling us.

Note to Duque: Toronto is the only team we might finish ahead of in 2011. And I yield that only because I don't follow baseball in other countries.