Monday, January 24, 2011

Yankeetorial: If Cash really wants to be a small pond whale, he should leave now

Sunday, B-Madd wrote in the Daily News that Brian Cashman might slink out of New York next winter, so he can pursue his childhood dream: running a cheapass franchise, be the swaggering stud in a small corral, and never again do laundry for some chain-smoking, under-achieving Steinbrother heir-lout. He'd scurry off to KC or MIL and start trading future Lenn Sakatas for future Evan Longorias; he'll beat the Yankees, build a super-dynasty and be hailed as the Megamind his mom always said he was, back before he took up groveling to owners, rappeling down skyscrapers and sniping to the press without attribution. 

Well, Cash... if you really do feel that way...

Sir, the door is over there, next to the Bob Watson Ceremonial Chopping Block.

The truth is: I like Cash. I don't want to see him go. He's been a part of the Yankees so long that nobody even thinks of the play on his name anymore. Ranking on Cash is part of being a Yankee fan, like debating Joba's future. Everybody remembers the bum deals, and we forget that he kept Phil Hughes. Would he elevate a small town franchise? He'd sure do better than those Baltimore Bozos about to sign Vladimir Guerrero. Cash is a smart guy. I think he's an honest guy. He'll do well. But that's not the point.

The fact is, Brian Cashman has the job every baseball fan in the world would kill to have -- for one day. He runs the Yankees. Hell, I'd not only pick up Hank Steinbrenner's laundry, I'd clean his nicotine-stained underwear myself by pounding it on rocks in the crocidile-infested Nile. What fan wouldn't?

If Cashman's bored, or feeling unloved, or angry that he's not getting credit -- because the Yankees too much spend money and wanted Rafael Soriano... well, goobye. Sad to see him go. But goobye.

I hate the idea of a Yankee GM pondering his future in another city. There are many reasons -- Jesus Montero being one -- that Yankee fans might want Cash to clarify his future before he makes trades that could haunt us for years to come. I'm not saying he'd do that. But this is the Yankees, folks. Whatever he does will be second-guessed long after he's into his second career.

3 comments:

alexander portnoy said...

i'd clean hal steinbrenner's wife's laundry with one hand

Hermodorus said...

s'that a metaphor or not

The Ghost of Scott Brosius said...

I'd also clean Hal Steinbrenner's wife's laundry for a chance at that job.

But seriously, even if Cash wanted to stay, I think the Yankees need to find somebody else for this job. I think his ego is getting the best of him with the cutesy moves for Nick Johnson and Vazquez and all that crap.