Fans cheer, people die

Mad scientists have uncovered an amazing new fact.

Sports fans drink.

Eight percent of the drivers leaving sporting events are liquored-up, barfing,

highway-weaving couriers of death and destruction.

Lead researcher Darin Erickson of the University of Minnesota points out that, if the 8 percent finding holds for the whole crowd, at the conclusion of an NFL game some 5,000 people over the limit could spill out into the streets and potentially behind the wheel. Remember, these results apply to those willing to be tested. So the true percentage of uncooperative inebriates may be higher.

Next, the scientists should study whether inebriation increases after wins or losses.