Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Yankee Off-Season Bears, Well, A Weed

We are off and running.


Our seedlings were planted during the winter, and now we head to Tampa to harvest the crops.

Our bullpen bridge is, we hope, in place.

We have one starter we can count on, and Phil Hughes to hope for.

I do not hope for AJ. And I think Andy is done until July or
August ( has anyone heard from him? Of him?)

The B-named beanpoles will be in place, but they won't be ready for the stew.

All the old guys will slow down.

That seed we got from Detroit will be our biggest outfield star. Swish will slow down, despite having no hair.

Tex will hit in July. Cano will hit all year. The Dodger catcher will hit .250 until he gets hurt.

Jorge will hit into a lot of double plays as our DH.

Jeter will lose two steps to the left and one to the right.

Jesus will be selling hoagies on the side in Scranton by mid-April.

Cashman is increasingly incoherent.

Nothing has changed, really.

I used to pick weeds at Rikers when I was a kid, caught throwing rocks at lamposts. The same weeds I envision for the Yankees this year.

We aren't going to be very tasty or fulfilling.

If I ever hope to be wrong, this should be the season. But, have I ever been wrong?


2 comments:

Bill Belicheat said...

"But, have I ever been wrong?"
I think maybe once. You picked the Jets to go all the way

Joe De Pastry said...

If Jeter loses two steps to his left he'll be going one step to his right on balls hit to his left.