Because that's what they're saying..
Cashman: So, lemmie get this straight: It they don't find the Higgs boson, we don't exist?
Hall: No, jeez, you're not listening. The Higgs is a hypothetical, ubiquitous quantum particle with a non-zero value in its ground state. When it interacts with other forces, it gives the universe mass.
Cashman: What if the whole universe is merely the figment of one child's imagination, there is no Derek Jeter, no Mariano Rivera... and no vast revenues to spend on free agents?
Hall: There would still be plenty to spend on players - in the mind of the universe-owner-child.
Cashman: But who imagines the owner-child? And where does the team payroll come from?
Hall: All of us! We are all the owner! Don't you see it? Can't you feel it?
Cashman: Wow. This is the most rewarding contract negotiation I've ever done. We're all the owner! How about $10 million a year, for five years!
Hall: Nay, Brian. As a fellow owner, I cannot accept $10 million a year. I cannot take advantage of you.
Cashman: Damn it, Hall, I've never known anyone like you. I love you!
Hall: And I, you, Brian. But it cannot be. I cannot sign.
Cashman: Is it my fate to forever have Eduardo Nunez as utility infielder? Is my fate to always know Chris Dickerson as my acquistion?
Hall: You shouldn't have traded Jesus, man. Now, we just gotta wait for that Higgs boson.
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6 comments:
I don't like Bill Hall in this scenario because I see him as more selfish than anything. Think of the Sterling calls this guy could give us (the one or two times a season when he'll hit a home run).
"Hall hits one over the wall!"
"Oh! Bill Hall of Fame! Isn't it amazing, Suzyn?"
"Bill the Butcher strikes again!"
Mr. Cashman, make the right choice. Sign Bill Hall now!
Kill the Bill.
He should be in the Hall?
Hall's ball over the wall!
Can I do another 1984 sketch? How about one between Brian Cashman and Jim Hendry?
bennyboy, your 1984 sketch was a masterpiece.
Bennyboy,
I'm in. If you put out a piece, you can either stick it here, or send it to me directly
hseely@twcny.rr.com
and I'll post it - giving YOU credit!
But don't put me out of a job.
I miss the poetry. Whoever wrote the poetry needs to start it up again. I'm in the middle of penning a piece of prose praising The Great One (Michael Pineda), since I think this blog has an anti-Pineda slant.
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