Imagine Brian Cashman's holiday joy after winning the rights to Japanese infield lugnut Hiroyki Nakajima. I bet Cash sped to the nearest 7-Eleven, grabbed a twelver of Keystone Butter Malt and shotgunned it in his car, motor running, in a garage closed tighter than Callista Gingrich's knees at a rapper rave. What a steal. Ten million bucks buys you a back-up SS who keeps the Kei Igawa pinstripe legacy alive. .
No harm, no foul. Let's throw Hiro back into the river of dancing carp. Let's consider it $10 million found in a paper bag, and let's go buy a pitcher. Oswalt? Kuroda? Nah. How about Edwin Jackson? Offer him four years. Add some incentives. Give him a no-trade; (Hell, nobody trades with us anyway.) Let's put some space between us and Boston.
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Sign Edwin Jackson, win the 2012 pennant.
Sign Edwin Jackson, win the 2012 pennant.
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I'm trying to be diplomatic here about the Steinboys' new tightwadness. But I don't buy the talking points that they're saving to spend it next year. If anyone thinks the Giants and Phillies will let Matt Cain and Cole Hamel walk out the door, they're crazy. They won World Series with those guys. Besides, if we're cheap now, what will change then?
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Losing to Boston, I guess.
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Yes, the Redsocks fell apart last year. They won't in 2012. It would be nice to think that Carl Crawford will bat .260 without speed or power for the rest of his career. What happens when he returns to form? At times, we seem to base our entire strategy on staying one game ahead of Boston. They stand pat, so we follow suit.
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If the Oakland Oaks were dangling Edwin Jackson in a trade, we would be ranting about what they were demanding: Montero, Betances, Rooney Mara's iron thong and tickets to the Spider Man show. We would say hell, no, too much, never!
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But dammit, we can sign the guy for money - yes, cabbage, dough, sprizula, igoonies - and keep not only our Yankee prospects, but our treasure trove of female undergarments confiscated from the OCCUPY crackdowns. We can have it all.
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We have the money, dammit. We just refuse to spend it. Why?
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Losing to Boston, I guess.
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Yes, the Redsocks fell apart last year. They won't in 2012. It would be nice to think that Carl Crawford will bat .260 without speed or power for the rest of his career. What happens when he returns to form? At times, we seem to base our entire strategy on staying one game ahead of Boston. They stand pat, so we follow suit.
.
If the Oakland Oaks were dangling Edwin Jackson in a trade, we would be ranting about what they were demanding: Montero, Betances, Rooney Mara's iron thong and tickets to the Spider Man show. We would say hell, no, too much, never!
.
But dammit, we can sign the guy for money - yes, cabbage, dough, sprizula, igoonies - and keep not only our Yankee prospects, but our treasure trove of female undergarments confiscated from the OCCUPY crackdowns. We can have it all.
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We have the money, dammit. We just refuse to spend it. Why?
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3 comments:
Because George's boys are greedy little pigs, like Lloyd Blankfein.
It could be that they're holding out. If so, I have no problem with that. I'm not saying the Yankees need to make a move this week. But they need to do something with all that money.
If the Yankees want to save money by not signing anybody other than Iwojima Okinawa this year, I say, fine. Yankee fans should do the same thing. Don't buy any over-priced tickets or stale $6 concession stand pretzels this year. Stay home, fall asleep watching the games on YES or listening to Sterling and Waldman, use the money you save to contribute to a homeless shelter or something.
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