Yankeetorial: Hoo-Ray! Bud Selig has graciously decided to stay

Yesterday, MLB Commissioner Bud Selig signed himself to a new two-year deal. Ever the crafty negotiator, he probably talked himself down from his original five-year demand. The news report did not say how much money Bud will be paid for his hard work. They seldom do. In America, it’s nobody’s business how much a baseball owner banks. (I refuse to use the word "earn.") The poor owners, we all know, must pay all that money to those greedy players. How do they even get by?

Yep. They're billionaires, pretending to be millionaires, so we will feel sorry for them. And the crazy part is, the media goes along with it.

When utility infielder Jose Dork signs with Tampa, MLB tells the world how much he makes (without mentioning the agent's cut.) Everybody groans about how the rich, uppity player, Jose, who is obviously not worth all that money.  

Well, this we know: Under Bud's previous contract, he was making $18.4 million per year. That puts him just behind Derek Jeter, who earns $18.9 million. If Bud were a player, his 2010 salary would rank 22^nd on the all-time highest amount ever paid per season, according to Cot’sBaseball Contracts website.

Bud has run MLB since 1992. If he were paid half his current salary over those first 10 years – that’s $90 million – and then slowly increased his living wage until now, that's at least $250 million, just for riding herd over the hogs. Moreover, he probably hasn't paid for a lunch, cab ride or flight in his last 20 years.

MLB is just another cronism sludgepits that doles out obscene super-payments to slimy CEOs and their nepotistic neophyte shareholders, regardless of performance. When not cashing checks, they're congratulating themselves on a job well done!

Today, the price of a baseball ticket is sickening. The cost of watching on TV is choking local cable systems. Inner cities don't build baseball fields any more. Taxpayers are slowly learning of how they were hoodwinked into funding stadiums, while the government deficits were exploding. MLB is pricing itself out of the American economy. And, of course, it blames those greedy players, especially the ones conveniently named Jose and Manuel.

Yep. Their fault. Even right-minded Yankee fans this winter have been whining about paying high salaries, calling for the team to cut its budget, to bring spending back in line. At the root of this austerity insanity is a secret de facto salary cap -- the kind the owners always wanted but the players union denied. Now, you can feel it creeping back into the sport: The Yankees don't want to be big spenders. Shhh. Don't say "collusion."

Most players' careers last five years or less. In that time period, they must make their fortune. Their salary gets published in the newspaper. Bud Selig’s – surely the most odious figure in sports – gets hushed. Go figure.