When Tubby met Sally

"Wow," says the Mail Online. "The Yankee slugger and his former pro wrestler girlfriend are physically perfect."

Hmm. I guess that's what passes for eugenic-minded kinkiness in the UK these days. Is Dr. Evil writing captions? Did England ever really did recover from Mick defrocking Marianne Faithful?

Well, it's just another Arod pictoral. By my count, third of the year - which means one every three days. He now leads Jeet, 3-2. Poor guy can't go to the bathroom without a camera clicking from some distant rooftop. These look a bit Google Earthish. Does Rupert Murdoch own drones?

Listen: It's not Arod's hip that we should worry about. It's his head. Nobody can handle this kind of scrutiny. As a Yankee fan, frankly, I don't know what to do. Yes, we can ignore it, pretend it's not happening. That won't help Arod. He's either got to start wearing a burqua or going Russell Crowe on somebody - but that would only make this worse.

But back to central theme: Arod looks in fine shape - if you're 36. Looks to me like a few grounders could take Mookie Wilson bounces on him. He looks sexy to the Goodyear-hipped dingdongs in the Mail newsroom. Anybody does when you're shaped like Benny Hill.