One percenter Steinbrothers may forego new compound in Fiji, spend more on team

Yesterday, Buster Brown-Olney journalized that our nebobs of nepotism, (aka the Yankee braintrust brothers), are thinking about shelling out more money - that's right, cabbage, jack, dough, hoinga, miggnoleenskies - on the team this year.

In the next few days, Hank and Hal Steinbrenner will gather all their toys, servants, horses and tax loopholes in a room - a big room - and compare what they've got with the new arrivals in the Hammacher Schlemmer catalogue. They'll decide if there is anything else in the world they need to buy, aside from peace of mind.

If nothing floats - if they've no need for the Travelers Circulation Enhancing Leg Massager ($39.95) and the Path Illuminating Umbrella ($29.95) - they will pitch some measily thin dimes into the copper kettle, where tattered Yankee fans have stood since November, ringing the bell of charity. The coin will make a clinking sound, and we will say, Why, goodness gracious, we thank you, kindly, Mr. Rockefeller and Mr. Carnegie! Cheerio and begora! Have a great day, young sirs!

Dammit. For three months now, they've been sitting around, Jack Benny and Silas Marner, counting their money while the baseball world attended the Pujols-Darvish Night at the Opera. But wait... it's not that I'm complaining.  We've been thrifty. Nothing wrong with thrifty! Thrifty is fine.

Chinzy, though - that's another matter. The Yankees don't need to become chinzy.

Listen: Edwin Jackson is still out there. He went 12-9 last year for the Cards. The world champion St. Louis Cardinals. His character is impeccable. He's young. He wants five years but might take four. His career season may still be ahead of him. He eats innings the way my old Maverick ate oil filters. If we buy him, we buy an extra year of seasoning for Betances and Baneulos, the two remaining Bs. And if Phil Hughes craps his crib, or AJ turns into Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider 2, at least we don't go down in flames with them.

And for what? For measily pieces of silver? I speeet on your money, gringo. Let's hope the Steinboys do the right thing. If they don't, the Mayans could be right about 2012. Around the time our staff explodes, you better believe the Travelers Circulation Enhancing Leg Massager and the Path Illuminating Umbrella will already be on the curb. SPEND THE MONEY, HANK AND HAL. Your father is watching.