Has the sacrifice of Jesus opened the gates of heaven for the return of a certain great Yankee?

OK, think with me here: Daredevil Cashman just dropped his nuclear bomb, potentially killing or saving millions of innocent dollars. Now, we must consider the collateral damage. (Aren't metaphors fun?)

Barring injuries - (Say, has anyone followed that elbow issue that pulled Ivan Nova from game five last October?) - we have seven Joes chasing five slots. (Actually, six: Hughes could be a reliever or swing man.) Presumably, someone must go. That's probably a decision for spring training.

Barring injuries - (yeah, I'm talking to you, Arod) - we have a group effort at DH. It almost resembles the GOP presidential field.

From the far right, we have Alex, Jeet, Eduardo Nunez, Andruw Jones or El Chato, the Mexi-Mystery Man Miracle known as Jorge Vazquez. But it's all about Arod. He's the Mitt Romney here. If he's not healthy enough to flash his mitt at 3B, he becomes our everyday DH. (BTW, this was always going to be a sticky issue with Jesus Montero. If Arod couldn't play 3B, Jeez was out of luck.)

From the left side, we have... gulp... Chris Dickerson? Our entire outfield hits left (Swish, a switch), but what's the point? It would be Chris Dick replacing them. We could sign Eric Chavez, who'll hit until he falls in the shower. But is he our lefty DH?

How about a man who steals two bases in one pitch... who says efff you to Boston when they try to acquire him... and who is still deciding which hat to wear in Cooperstown? A man with a swing or Yankee Stadium... who hits in the clutch... and who by all accounts is a great presence on any team?

I know... yeah, I know... I'm thinking with my heart here. But we just dealt Jesus, whom we raised from puppyhood, for a couple pitchers who - like all pitchers - is a tender tendon away from oblivion.

Cash just dropped his A-bomb. It didn't come from Arod. The earth is still shaking. In the movies, Godzilla returns. (Yep, another lefty possibility.) I just hope Johnny comes marching home.