Wednesday, February 8, 2017

WTF?

Hello America,

I am writing this from an island outside of the continental shelf, and in waters claimed by both China and Betsy DeVos.

My primary purpose is to see if this communication will transmit, as I was recently brought down by " malware."  I think it came packaged as that thing LBJ warned us about.

In any case, what should arrive in a corked bottle ( I was hoping for Crown Royal ), but a Yankee sheet labeled, " transactions."  It was written in script....a lot like The Palmer Method....forced down our gullets in primary school.  Now, with home schooling on the horizon, one will need only to scratch letters into the ground with a stick.  But I digress.

The handwriting was clearly that of Hal S. or his doughty sister.  Or her ex-husband, the drunk and gadabout in Tampa.  In any case, it was leaked ( or floated ) insider information.  Not meant for the media and not meant for publication or verification.

So I read the notes;  " load up on first basemen ; use bullpen more; get off this re-building idea; save money;  find discards; save money; keep Jacoby and Gardy; make up stuff about our prospects; ignore starting pitchers...."

The remainder of the scribblings were obliterated by seawater, and rendered unreadable.  But the list went on and on.

It was formulated, as if by a madman, with no understanding of actions or consequences.  Drafted by a person clearly unhinged with respect to what the Yankees stand for, and how you win in baseball.  This was the handiwork of a person in power (acquired through money, ) and bent on, " fooling the dim-witted, easily manipulated followers of the team," as he tweeted it.

Follow his lead into the abyss, I say.

We may no longer recognize the Yankees after a few more weeks.



4 comments:

JM said...

Joel Sherman via River Ave Blues' Twitter account has said today that the Yanks have let teams know that Castro is "available."

Maybe those 2B kids in the minors can have some hope. Of course, if true to form, we'll sign a 35-year-old second baseman who hits .200 or less. But think of the leadership abilities.

Anonymous said...

2017 MLB WIN PROJECTION! ...YANKEES 81 WINS.
KILL ME NOW.

Parson Tom said...

Danggit! Stephen Drew just resigned with Washington.

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