Thursday, May 4, 2017

Reacting to recent racial incidents, Redsocks issue lifetime ban of their team's history

BREAKING _ Following of several racist incidents, the Boston Redsocks have issued a lifetime ban on their franchise history.

From now on, Redsock history will no longer be allowed in Fenway Park.

"This history is not who we were," a team spokesman said. "And by banning it, we will not be who we are."

This includes future references to the dreaded "H" word - Tommy Harper - and recollections by Gary Matthews, Barry Bonds, Carl Crawford, CC Sabathia and others, players who were all so welcomed by the Boston fan base that they received special nicknames. 

19 comments:

Alphonso said...

Was this statement made by The Donald?

Mike said...

It's all written down in a Little Red (Socks) Book.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

The only was to eradicate this egregious past is to bulldoze Fenway. They should rename Yawkey Way as well... MLK Blvd would suffice.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Renaming "Yawkey Way" to "MLK Blvd" is a great idea. How about, as an alternative, just to remind the bastards what this is all about, "Pumpsie Green Expressway"?

That'd make 'em wince.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Since their is already an MLK Blvd in St. Botolph's town, it will need to be "Pumpsie Green Expressway".

Hell, it should be "Pumpsie Green Expressway" anyway.

I went to many games in the 70's and 80's (hell even in this decade) at Phen Weigh, where the only black people were employees of the team.

ranger_lp said...

Sounds like a Borowitz Report....lol

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

When you say employee of the team, you mean ON the team. The field might have been integrated but not the piss trough scrubbers, popcorn salesmen, ticket scalpers...

Anonymous said...

I LOVE IT....PUMPSIE GREEN EXPRESSWAY.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

@ Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside

Some custodians, but no aisle workers or ticket scalpers.

And none would be welcome in the nearby watering holes. More like bombarded with invectives (at best).

Anonymous said...

Hell, I'm an old white guy, and I barely escaped Fenway with my LIFE, whenever I would show there in my Yankee gear....not like Detroit, where you can go and show your allegiance, and not be bothered by a bunch of ignorant, bigoted Rump-voters.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

I appreciate the Expressway sentiment, but abhor the lack of word play. Pumpsie Green-Way, or Pumpsie Place or even Pumpsie Platz!

Nice story Rufus but there ain't no trump voters in Boston.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

On an unrelated note, a few years ago the small market Boston baseball franchise decided to make more money by "selling" bricks to be placed in the concourse under the outfield seats at Phen Weigh.

We managed to get one placed that honored Mr. Russell O'Dey, aka Bucky Dent. Came complete with a certificate that stated it would never be removed. It's by the Yaz entrance.

https://www.dropbox.com/pri/get/Bucky%20Dent/IMG_6082_crop.JPG?_subject_uid=400255945&w=AAAFUqE4de4eQnRHODhCNVaOXXiwgp7aTJ2hztn9o5dQGg

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Sorry, corrected link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/xb1c2fddhac9ika/IMG_6082_crop.JPG?dl=0

K. Farthing said...

Adams is lying. Shit didn't happen.

Mustang said...

>Adams is lying. Shit didn't happen.

That you, Schilling? I thought we banned you.

Rufus T, that Bucky brick is stunning achievement. I'd love to front-page it, but too much attention might not be good for its health. And at least six people read this blog.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Longer reply later when I'm near a computer. Jrufusfirefly@gmail if you want details.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Mustang,

Three friends and I decided that Phen Weigh needed an appropriate commemoration of that October classic.

Two of us work in the scrappy small market city (I bailed a year ago). Another from the left coast and one still in NYC area. I am the only one not raised within 50 miles of 162nd St.

The scrappy small market team whored themselves by selling bricks with inscriptions. We decided to poke the scrappy small market team, but knew that "Go Yankees" would probably be rejected.

Thus the less rememberered Bucky Dent story. No one in that racist townie asshole fanbase would know Russell Earl Dent's birth name! Alcohol may have been involved in the inspiration for the wording, as it is for many wonderful ideas. We didn't panic when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor -- we used it for inspiration!

Larry Lucchino, being the great (asshole) human being that he is, included a replica brick at a price. One of the instigators and I decided we needed one. Mine sits in my office as a paperweight. My co-conspirator's is in its plexiglass container.

Both have certificates of authenticity that they have been signed by each of Mr. Russell O'Dey (who signed his alias of "Bucky Dent") and Mr. Micheal Torrez. (Insert Steiner Sports Memorabilia sarcasm here).

Mustang said...

Rufus, sorry I didn't make it back to this thread til tonight,. Thanks for this. It's an inspiring reminder of humanity's limitless potential.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Mustang,

Feel free to publish that pic anywhere. We attempted to get one of the tabs to do it when it was first installed, with no luck.