Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Riding high in April, shot down in May?

Be careful what you wish for, old Vonnegut once wrote. Actually, I learned that lesson at age nine. For Christmas that year, I campaigned for an Eldon Bowl-a-Matic. I'd seen the ads with kids screaming with joy, and it looked like crack cocaine. I wanted a piece. I made it my first round draft pick, my Joe Don Looney. 

On Christmas morning, when my six weeks of hard work had born fruit, I shrieked with delight. I tore off its outer wrappings and - right there on the living room floor - mounted it. I set the pins, placed my ball into the plastic bowler's hand, and shot. In that moment, a revelation came: I was... bowling? Since when did I give a crap about bowling? After knocking down the pins, I had to set them back up again. On TV, the kids never had to set them up. This fucking blew. W.T.F. had I done? I could have had a Magic 8-Ball!


So last night, in their sick way, the juju gods granted me what I'd asked for: A Yankee loss that was not akin to six hours on a torture rack, or watching the Ice-Capades. Compared to Sunday, last night was a cool Sylvia Path night in the hot tub. It was like going to bed in first and waking up in second. It was never in doubt, never worth a primal scream over something Girardi did. Down 2-0, then 5-1, then 7-1, farewell, England! Just lie down, close your eyes, let them set the ball in your plastic hand... and bowl.

For the first time since opening week, we have lost two straight. And this one came at the hands of MLB's April punch line - the hapless Jays. For a month, Toronto has been spectacularly rancid. So what happens? Of course... they roll into NYC, yank off our wrappings and bowl us under the tree. 

Another of my wishes was for Greg Bird to get 500 at bats this season. For the record, I still believe in Bird, but watching him last night, he looks like a kid who just opened the biggest box under the tree, and it's clothes. In March, he was Babe Ruth. In April, he's been Ruth Gordon. I don't know what to do. But I do know that Chris Carter isn't the answer, and that if the two guys platoon, there's a good chance neither will ever get hot. We have somehow won April without a hitting first baseman. We won't win May. 

Finally, I remain haunted by my original wish for 2017, belched forth in February, before any of this self-pleasuring began: I wanted the Yankees to use this season as a bridge to a future dynasty, and not get caught up in a Wild Card hysteria that would prompt us to trade prospects for a Jose Quintana-grade pitcher. That still remains my first round draft pick. But April made us drunk with expectations. Now, we are staring at the Bowl-a-Matic. Wanna roll?

5 comments:

John M said...

Yep. I have the same feeling of doom. The magic of Severino, CC and Pineda has worn off, and they have become pumpkins again. Headley's batting is reverting to the mean. Bird is fizzling badly.

We've seen this movie before.

Anonymous said...

WATCHING BIRD CLOSELY LAST NIGHT, IT LOOKS LIKE HIS SWING IS SLOW, AND LATE..... I REALIZE EVEN WHEN HE WAS BANGING HOMERS, HIS SWING LOOKED SLOW AND EFFORTLESS..... BUT NOW THE SWING JUST LOOKS SLOW AMD LAZY-LIKE..... COULD HE BE HURT?.... HE SAYS HE IS FINE.
I REALLY THINK THE BEST THING FOR EVERYONE IS A 7 DAY DL STINT.... LOOKS LIKE HE MAY NEED SOME REST WITHOUT PICKING UP A BAT FOR A WHILE.......I FIND IT IRONIC THAT I AM RECOMMENDING "REST" FOR SOMEONE ON THIS TEAM, AS I AM ENRAGED HALF THE TIME WHEN GIRARDI KEEPS RESTING GUYS AFTER THEY HAVE GREAT GAMES...... THE WORST REST GIRARDI PRESCRIBED THIS YEAR, WAS BENCHING BIRD AFTER HE WENT 3 FOR 3 WITH A HOMER..... HE HASN'T RECOVERED SINCE.

I FAVOR A 7 DAY DL OVER BEING SENT DOWN TO SCRANTON, BECAUSE OF THE POTENTIAL NEGATIVE MENTAL FACTOR ON HIM, AND THE FACT THAT HE WILL NOT GET TO "RECHARGE HIS BATTERY" BY PLAYING IN SCRANTON.

ANOTHER THING..... LET HIM FACE A LEFTY!! ...HE NEEDS TO SEE A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE AT THE PLATE!.... IT ACTUALLY MAY HELP HIM SHAKE THE SLUMP!

WTF DO I KNOW?

The Ghost of Yankees Past said...

The Yankees would be smart to stick with their long term strategy. That is keep the current group of kids and bring up the next couple of waves over the next couple of years. It will be tempting to make some moves if they stay in the thick of it this year. However the goal is not playing in the LCS in 2017, it is wining World Series in 2019, 2020 etc. Quintana is 1 win and 4 loses with a 5.22 ERA so for this year. He is better than that and should improve. However he is not a franchise changer like Chris Sale. The Yankees should continue to keep there "powder dry" as far as he is concerned.

First base needs to be fixed. If Byrd doesn't start hitting soon they need to send him to Scranton and let him figure it out there. He seems to have potential so they need to handle him properly.

I thought so at the time, so it is not a second Guess said...

It may be petty, and picky, but we were in a 2-1 game in the seventh, Severino had thrown 92 pitches, why did we leave him in there to give up the lead? Just saying.

Anonymous said...

JUST FOUND OUT BIRD GOT PUT ON THE 10 DAY DL TODAY...... I BELIEVE THIS IS THE CORRECT MOVE..... STILL STRIVING FOR THE DAY WE HAVE SANCHEZ, JUDGE, DIDI, CASTRO, AND A HEALTHY, PRODUCTIVE BIRD TOGETHER IN THE SAME LINEUP.