Hard-falling Yanks pull within half-game of Angels in Tankathon race

Nobody believed us. When we started shit-talking the Yankees, back in June, the notion of a mid-August tanking seemed impossible. Too much talent. Too many Starrs. At worse, the Death Barge would snag that final wild card berth, a disappointing outcome to a slouch season. But they'd still have an outside shot at October. 

In the MLB dog show, every pooch gets a ribbon.

Well, they went 11-12 in June - a glitch, we were assured. Then, 10-15 in July, a brief setback. Now, 5-10 in August - including meltdowns in Chicago and Miami, and a sweep in Atlanta, where they looked like a geriatric unit pitted against a team of actual pro athletes. 

Gone is the delusion that the '23 Yankees have - as Michael Kay would say - "a rally in their bones." In fact, they have no bones. They've blown 24 leads, been shutout seven times. They can tout 27 world championships - the team of Ruth and Gehrig, blah blah blah... but this team's squalor is a just a long, hard horse-piss on their legacy. 

Tonight, we welcome Boston, and - honestly - who cares? I can dredge up the old Redsock hate posts, but why bother? Neither team is going anywhere. I say, let Boston win, let them bark at the weather balloon, let them chase the mail truck, let the baby have its peanuts. Our rotation is Cole, Clarke, TBD, TBD and TBD. Our leadoff batter changes nightly. Our cleanup hitter can't run 10 steps, even on a play at the plate. Our LH bats belong in Scranton. Our farm system is sputtering. It's a lost year, and nobody at the top seems to give a shit. Why should we?  

Lately, several Yankee sites have, like hostages, spouted reasons to root for this team through September. God bless 'em. On the Titanic, they'd be donning swimsuits. 

Honestly, I see NO reason to follow this team, other than to root against it. Why not? 

1. Every loss means a slightly better draft pick. I know, I know... Andrew Brackman! Cito Culver! et al. But you never know. in 2018, had we lost, say, five more games, we might have moved up a few notches in the 2019 draft, and selected George Kirby, currently a top candidate for the Cy Young. Any tick upwards in the draft is an improvement. 

Okay, I should note that in 2019, we did draft Anthony Volpe. It wasn't a total washout. But damn, watching Volpe is a slog. Did this season in NY do him good - or harm? Is he a future star (or Starr?) Right now, he shapes up as a reincarnation of the player whose jersey he wears - Brett Gardner, No. 11. We loved Gardy, as we might love Volpe. But can he hit, say, .290? This season, did we grind him into the pavement?  

2. Giancarlo. This is the year he turned 50. He's awful, and he won't get better - not for a long stretch. Listen: I don't hate the guy personally, or blame him for signing a contract that will feed his family forever. But remember how they said Giancarlo can get hot and carry this team? Nope. He can't. He won't. He's a shell of what he once was, and we have him for eternity. He's the guy who broke whatever spirit Hal once had about building the Yankees through spending. He's the excuse Hal will always use for holding the line. 

3. The farm system. Insert names here. I suppose our main hope is Everson Pereira, a young outfielder who streaked meteorically through the system and has hit well at Scranton, in a small sample. If the Yankees promote him, it will enliven the fan base. But it will smack of desperation. Pereira needs development time at Triple  - not the crushing pressures - and distractions - of Gotham. Is anything to be gained by calling him up, other than to create a diversion for this sad team?

Listen... I hate myself for writing this, but tonight, I'm rooting for Boston to clean our clocks. Let it rain! Let it hail. Let' the clouds rage upon us! Let the winds blow this sorry franchise into the sea. Fuck the rivalry. What's on the Turner Channel tonight?