We take you now to the President's address on what happened in New York Yankees baseball on Saturday Sunday:
"Yesterday, August 12 13, 2023, a date which will really, really, really live in infamy in the annals of New York City Yankees baseball, both a major-league teams in from the city Bronx were was viciously and deliberately allowed to devolve to levels not seen since 1966..."
Ah, hell. I don't know what to write about this bunch anymore. Except that they are easily the least likable, most annoying, generally buffoonish and annoying Yankees team I have ever seen in 57 years of watching them. That goes for everyone, from the owner down to the coaches and trainers.
Not one but two relief pitchers making critical, late-inning errors in the space of a week?
Tank? This is a team that is already tanking, my friends—tanking by not really bothering to pay attention anymore.
They don't care—and they don't care that they don't care.
A friend of mine who knows about such things tells me that, back in the early days of the Roman Republic, in a sort of leveling exercise, every so often everyone in the city had to stand in a big circle and declare just how much wealth they had. If it were deemed excessive, they had to give some of it up to their fellow citizens.
This strikes me as the very least this Yankees team should be doing for us. Imagine a contrite Giancarlo Stanton stepping forward, hat in hand, to mumble about what he's making?
Well, I can dream, can't I? The problems of this team are deep and egregious, and they emanate entirely from the stubborn ego and paranoia of one man.
Until and unless he is fired, this team will simply get worse and worse. And it is so bad now that it is going to take at least 5-10 years to turn it into a contender again.
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I've noticed that the fielding of their pitchers has been atrocious for a long time. Going back to CC Sabathia. All the other team had to do was to nudge a ground ball out of the catcher's range, and he's got a hit, because fat CC had zero chance of getting to it. Well, that has continued on and gotten worse. Even for our current pitchers who aren't fat, they don't know what base to throw to, can't get to the ball. I'd like to know how many of these stupid infield dribbler hits we've given up this year and how many we've had ourselves. The disparity would be interesting. It all comes down to poor managing. This is on Boone. Poor fundamentals. Poor infield defense. This, from a former major league second baseman/infielder. It's embarrassing.
If Boone comes back again next year, I'm definitely not watching these fiascos anymore.
I'm depraved and sinking lower. Every day, I eagerly look forward to a Yankees loss. Last night I was in a positively ejaculatory mood when Miami put up a five spot in the ninth.
The worst aspects of my personality have risen to the surface, hoping things will get so bad that the evil empire crumbles (or gets blown to bits by the Resistance) by having a rocket shoved up their one vulnerable opening. (I still don't understand why that little hole was actually designed into the plans, but never mind.)
The Intern is that vulnerable opening in our universe and someone needs launch a rocket up there. But our fearless leader Jarjar Steinbrenner, the comic-relief Nepo Baby, (and one of the most hated characters in history) hasn't got the balls to actually do anything to reverse a trend that has been obvious to anyone even casually watching.
I don't care about draft picks. You know The Intern isn't capable of drafting and developing talent. I just want to luxuriate in the descending crescendo of the worst season in my memory.
DIE! DIE! DIE!
My misery knows no bounds as I await the next great historical essay from Horace Clarke, the only thing that makes it all worthwhile.
1966 at this point: 53-65.
We've got work to do.
It could be worse. Wander Franco could be a Yankee.
Here is a link to what is most likely your only Yankee based smile of the day. Scroll down to see Hideki Matsui take David Cone deep on Old Timers Day
https://www.pinstripealley.com/2023/8/14/23831618/yankees-old-timers-day-derek-jeter-roster-no-game-hall-of-fame-world-series-team-mvp
Horace....you neglected to mention who you wanted to fire in your post of today. I assume it is Brian Cashman. If so, to that I say: GUILTY! String him up already! Dress him up in a $ 2500 suit completed with a noose necktie.
I don't want him to die, Carl Weitz. I don't want him to suffer, or lose all his money, or wander the streets crying out to his God.
I don't wish anything bad upon him at all.
I just want him to go away.
I hope that Wander Franco thing doesn't turn into another German situation from a few years ago.
I don't mind MLB enforcing a certain code of behavior. But I still think we should get to know about it. Again: if Wander Franco had picked up an automatic weapon, walked into a grade school and killed 37 kids, we would know all about it.
Somehow, I doubt that what he's done is worse than that.
Thanks, DickAllen. And I'm with ya: the draft picks don't mean that much. That's another excuse periodically trotted out by the Cashmani: 'Oh, the Yanks always do so well, they never get great draft picks!'
This is not basketball. There are 26 men on a roster, 9 men on the field all the time. Anyone who is doing his job well can still manage to sign and develop excellent ballplayers from a market of applicants that now includes much of the world.
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